Alana and Robert

He's A Believer

Having recently removed myself from an unpleasant, yet strangely enduring, relationship, and having taken the time to settle myself, etc., I decided I was ready to again accept the company of women.

I knew of OkCupid from a few years back, but never really used it to meet anyone. i don't seem to have much success meeting legit girls within my usual social circles, so it seemed natural to stop scoffing at internet dating and give it a whirl.

Thankfully, I was still able to borrow the internet from a neighbor; this neighbor has since moved, taking their ignorance/hospitality with them. In any case, this is an important point, since it was at my apartment in the evenings during this week-long window that i first contacted Alana. Actually, she contacted me. With a wink. Oh, boy.

We met at a shitty bar the next night. though neither of us could really see the other in this dank, poorly-lit establishment, my scent (natural, not some bottled shit, fool), apparently intoxicated Alana, and we continued the evening at another establishment. The night finally concluded when I totaled my bike riding home at three thirty in the morning. Fuck you, City of Oakland, and you shoddily maintained infrastructure.

yada, yada, yada. details, specifics, and minutia.

We dated some more and now we're together.

Time for me to moralize: OkCupid is a viable means to meet someone. In the case of Alana and I, our meeting seems to be of some larger design. This sounds stupid, granted, and I'm not a fatalist, but I can't shake it. Here's why.

I tried writing a detailed explanation of the reasons behind my claim above, but it sounded stodgy. Suffice it to say that there were many little opportunities for things to align differently than they did. Also, considering my past relationships and the way the universe typically conspires against me in these matters, I was searching for a girl defined in the negative--she didn't bite her nails, she didn't get mean when she drank, she didn't play abrasive music, her ideas about hygiene were in step with my own; so on and so forth. Basically, I didn't have a "dream girl" in mind--I was unconvinced by the idea that a significant number of these negatives could be found in combination; that's why the checklist approach to meeting girls.

Meeting Alana is a perfect example of the futiliy of convincing oneself something doesn't exist, just because it's almost never found.

Tagged as: OkCupid Matches and Almost Gave Up.