1. Hi! And welcome to my Do You Listen or Just Hear Test. Listening is an art and, like any art, takes time, skill and patience to hone. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine whether you listen, or just hear, when engaged in conversation. The quality of listening is an important one, particularly when meeting someone for the first time, so this test assumes a first face-to-face, internet meeting with someone you're interested in.
2. 1. You're meeting for the first time. Women: Your guy's screen name is Robert. Guys: Your gal's screen name is Jennifer. While talking on the phone or via email, have you asked what they'd like to be called? (Rob? Bob? Jen? Jenny?)

   Yes

   No

3. 2. You're sitting at a table in the bistro. Your date is explaining why they are late with a story involving their sick pet. You...

   Jump in with your own sick-pet story.

   You sense your date is emotional and it's too heavy a conversation for a first meeting, so you ask a question about their profile that you've been curious about.

   Ask more questions about the pet: how big; what color, etc.

   Ask more about the illness and how the person feels.

4. 3. You've been talking for a while because you're nervous and want to make a good impression. Suddenly you realize you've monopolized the conversation. You...

   Smile heartily and say, "So, tell me something about you!"

   Check your date out, see they still look interested and keep on talking.

   Search your memory for something from their profile that you have in common.

   Flash a self-deprecating smile, admit your nervousness, then say something like, "I really liked what you said on your profile about...."

5. 4. Do you ask your date questions you would like them to ask you?

   Yes

   No

6. 5. Do you know what your going to say before your date finishes their sentence?

   Yes

   No

7. 6. Your date says: "I went to Thailand for a summer study abroad program, and ate fried grasshoppers. They tasted pretty bad." Your response is...

   "Wow! I've always wanted to go there! What did you think of the country?"

   "God, you ate grasshoppers? I couldn't ever do that."

   "You think that's bad? When I was in (insert your own place) I...."

   "You studied abroad? What was the subject?"

8. 7. Do you feel your good at reading eyes and facial expressions?

   Yes

   No

9. 8. Your date is hanging on every word you say; their body language and facial expressions lead you to believe that your conversation is incredibly brilliant and witty, yet they've shared very little about themselves. Do you.....

   Go with it! You're on a roll!

   Start gently nudging them to open up and share

10. 9. You ask your date about their ex, and the response is vague. You....

    Steer the conversation away, but file the response away for further investigation.

    Blow it off: it's their own business.

    Gently probe for more: after all, past relationships do affect current attitudes

    Assume the worst and tell a couple of ex-horror stories

11. 10. "After dad died of a heroin overdose it was just the four of us, and I was the oldest, so I had a lot of responsibility. Mom worked two jobs to support us, but it really wasn't that bad because we were tight--still are!--and there was a lot of love." What of the following would most closely reflect your response?

    Your dad died of a drug overdose!?

    I knew someone, who knew someone who died of an overdose.

    That must have been a tough time for your family.

    Sounds like you've overcome a lot--I mean, look at all you've accomplished!

12. 11. When the date is over, do you....

    Feel they know more about you than you know about them?

    Have a good idea of their world-view and current lifestyle based on what they've told you, rather then their reactions to what you've told them?

Finished!

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