That image doesn't bother you too much, right? Good, then keep reading.
UPDATE 07/04/09: I realized some of the scores weren't working right. Everything should work properly now.
Hello, and welcome to my test.
It is very important that you read this introduction before you begin. Due to the extremely controversial nature of the subject matter being discussed here, it would be far too easy to get entirely the wrong idea about me and what I'm looking for.
First, you must understand that this isn't one of those "try to pick my favorite answer" type of tests that leave you blindly guessing what the author wants. The answer choices for each question include a clear "best" answer, a middle-of-the-road answer, a "least" answer, and a neutral, light-hearted answer which won't negatively affect your score. It's really that simple.
The next thing I must explain is that there are no trick questions. It is important that I explain this because, truthfully, some of the practices I mention are extremely outlandish, and it may seem as though I am trying to trick you into admitting to liking things that actually turn me off. I promise you that this absolutely is not the case.
So, am I just sick then? Well, not exactly. I just have almost no reserve when it comes to my sexuality. There just aren't very many things I absolutely wouldn't do, and there's almost nothing I wouldn't do for the right partner. The reserve I do have is in choosing that partner, and I wouldn't do almost anything mentioned on this test with a partner who I didn't feel I could share the rest of my life with. In other words, I may be a total freak, but only if I have a fellow freak who wants to get seriously freaky right along with me. That's why I mention some things on the test that are above and beyond my own interests: because I would do them with the right partner. I hope all of that makes more sense than I think it does.
The most important thing is that you are honest in how you answer questions. Remember, your answers won't be seen by anyone but you, and every question is worth the same amount of points, so lying about something big is just as worthless as lying about something small. Whatever it is, just admit it. We can discuss it later, should we get to that point.
Don't lie in the opposite way either, by exaggerating your answers to pad your score. Sex is only one part of a relationship, and I'd much rather be involved with somebody who is a great life partner but only moderately adventurous than somebody who is insecure and deceitful but likes all the same weird shit I do. And to tell you the truth, most people won't score very high on this test, so just be yourself and don't sweat it.
Oh, and because I fucking hate tests that seem to go on and on without any indication of length, I'll tell you now that there are 9 pages with a total of 42 questions. That's not so bad, right? Don't worry, I'm only cruel when you want me to be.
So, ready to begin?
