• No, you are not paranoid. They are out to get you, and you know it. You just know it, dammit. But who are they??

    Well, not to worry. I can tell you who it is that is following you in that black van, or keying profanities on your car, or overturning all your furniture when you're out of the house, or keeps calling you night after night asking for someone named "Richie." By answering a few questions, we can narrow it down.

    Hopefully it won't turn out to be serious, but if you are in danger, wouldn't you really rather know?