The 3-Variable Purity Test

Only 50 questions, this purity test will ascertain, very quickly, your purity on three different measures: sexual purity, substance abuse purity, and moral purity.

Other purity tests exist, but this one usefully separates the 3 typical "impurities". Because it's short, it's best for people in the middle 99th percentile. Sex workers and babies: this is not for you.

And for those hoping to prove themselves insane: I will not focus on extremes (eating or sculpting shit, doing animals) because those questions just drag the test out for most people. If it's really important to you, write a poem or manifesto.