• Welcome to The Alcoholism Test.

    So practical! Take when sober.
    Scored by me, Chris Coyne. As seen above.
    "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
        Hunter S. Thompson

    "Me too!"
        Harold Coyne, author's older brother
    So YES: this highly scientific test measures if you're an alcoholic or not, and if so, how much of one.