Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Assessment Centre for subjects wishing to work and/or be tested at our Computer-Aided Enrichment Centre.
You, [Subject Name Here] have applied for the Basic Aptitude Examination. You will be tested on important Aperture Science knowledge from various subjects in order to determine which future would be best for you, if any.
We would like to remind you that there are no right or wrong answers. However, failure will not be tolerated, and you may not repeat the testing process. If at first you don't succeed, you fail.
In the interest of safety, no paper-based examinations are available at the Assessment Centre. To avoid inconveniece and poor test marks, you have been provided with an Aperture Science Personal Terminal which you will be using throughout the testing procedure.
For your own safety, and the safety of others: do not unplug the terminal, do not apply excesive force to the terminal, do not attempt to ingest the terminal, do not maintain eye contact with the terminal for more than a few seconds.
We cannot guarantee that the terminal does not contain nuts or gluten-based produce.
You may notice that while the intial questions are fairly simple in nature, the difficulty increases greatly by the end of the test. Panic is an acceptable response to this examination, and will not cost you marks.
The test will shortly commence. Good luck, and in case you don't make it through the test, goodbye!