Holy shit... they've attacked! I knew this would happen! Those canuck bastards, with their legalized pot and their national healthcare, have finally crossed the line. At 3:00 AM Pacific Standard the crazy French-English bastards rushed our northern border, armed to the teeth with high quality hockey sticks and fully loaded blunts. But there's a catch! Cheney's plane was shot down on its way back to the U.S., and the Frenchies have taken Bush as their hostage, to be brainwashed by their ridiculously tiring socialist banter. Colin Powell and Majority/Minority Leaders... you know, what? Fuck it. Long story short, America has fallen to pieces. It is up to people like you to defend this great country from the horror of the Canadian Military!