• It’s true, eHarmony told me I was unmatchable after I tried their 29-point matching thingie a few months back. But is it true? Hey, I was married for 11 years, so I must have been at least marginally matchable at some point, if only temporarily. But than again, we’re all going to die, so all matches are inherently temporary anyway, right? Of course. Well, in the interests of science or gyromancy or something, I’ve decided to put together a really simple test to find out if Dr. Neil Patrick Harris of eHarmony is right. If you score really high on this test, it probably means you stopped using OKCupid around the time John Wayne died, which means you should never have seen this at all, so how the hell are you taking the test? Us writers call this a “temporal anomaly” and then use it in a cheesy time travel story a couple years later.
  • I should add that this is my first test and I will probably not do another one until I have accumulated enough information about ancient Peruvian xylophones to do a test about them. As you might expect, there is not a lot of good, solid, historical information about ancient Peruvian xylophones -- lots of innuendo and hyperbole, and even some crass epithets, but very little in the way of reliable reports.

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