• Welcome to my Elegant Spankability Test. I'll be using whim, randomness and pseudoscientific patter to determine whether you are the sort of person who might: (a) Say, "Spank me? I dare you!" and then run out of the room, and keep running, never to be seen again; (b) Just plonk yourself, all graceless, over your Gentleman or Gentlewoman's lap and say, "Whack at me, baby"; (c) having teased that Gentleperson of Authority with artful and amusing cheekiness, stand waiting with your nose in the corner, your hands on your head and your underwear at your knees, until you are given the word, and you present yourself over the Authoritative knee with grace, fingers and toes touching the carpet, bottom arched up, legs straight, and the said toes turned inwards while your ankles are turned outwards; and having assumed the position, you say an utterly insincere, "I'm sorry, Sir/Master/Ma'am/Mistress". these expressions of regret may subsequently gain in verisimilitude. If you catch my drift. So we are testing Elegance, and Spankability. It Is My Whim. So, if you're sitting comfortably, let us begin!