• Are you a nothingness? Are you brimming with ennui? Do you feel the need to ascend to the highest mountain top and watch the lightning? No? Who cares? Not me! This test has two variables. Firstly, how much you know about existentialism. Secondly, whether you seem to have an existential leaning yourself. Being a mardy sod, I do like to know whether the people I speak to will say "I've often thought that myself" or "What? You spend too much time thinkin' mate. Put the telly on instead!"

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