Hi there, and welcome to the F.A.G. quiz. Many Bothans gave their lives to bring you this information, so it is in your best interest to pay attention, lest you be branded as a Bothan hater, and sent to sensitivity training with the old racist guy who thinks that everyone is Mexican.
The purpose of this quiz is multi-faceted, which is Latin for "a marsupial's anus". It's all very techincal, but the whole gist of it is to find out exactly how far you've fallen from the pinnacle of your youth. Are you the guy who used to brag about having a high metabolism while eating a whole supreme pizza back in high school, but now gets winded standing up too fast after sitting on the toilet? Or are you the dude who recently got dumped by the hottest chick you've ever seen naked and now want to re-invent yourself into one of those Abercrombie and Fitch models? Are you really a woman trapped in a man's body? Are you a man who traps women and sticks them in a pit in your basement? If so, does the lotion really work? I never can get that part right...
Somewhere in here, you'll find the answers, and either crawl into the shower crying while Sade plays softly in the background, or gain a better sense of self worth and stop chasing psychotic women who want to use your junk as a hand puppet in her home production of Aliens vs. Predator Reqiuem.
So with that being said, enjoy the quiz!