Hi! And welcome to my How Socially Deviant Are You Test. This test will (supposedly) measure the holistic quality of social deviancy, assessing how far from convention you stray based on general ideas about what I consider to be "normal" or "law-breaking." I'll be using science fiction, whim, and random finger-pointing to classify and quantify your true level of social deviancy, assessing you on a completely arbitrary scale made up by me, the author of this little farce, after which I will use smart-assery to describe you. This test is really worthless and it only has 5 questions anyway since I have a short attention span. This is for FUN, people! I'm saying this to the 1% of the OkCupid population who doesn't already know that. No, not you...YOU! Behind the other one...yes! Just relax, will you? You're making us all nervous what with the uptight and the scowling and the hitting your keyboard keys a little too hard.