• Hi. I'm Dru.

    Welcome to my Human Categorization for my Own Nefarious Purposes test. I'll be using advanced logic, esoteric knowledge, and this bag of magic acorns to determine your true nature.

    If you don't know me, you'll find this test to be boring and stupid. Even if you know me, the best possible outcome you can have from taking the test is that you will be bored and a little bit disappointed because there was no porn (well, maybe there will be a tiny bit of porn, but only for my very, very special friends).

    So please do us both a favor and abadon this endeavor immediately.

    Thank you.

  • 1
    How long is your attention span? I'm only asking about your attention span because you're going to need it. Really. If you're not already familiar and fairly comfortable with the inside of my brain, do us both a favor and abandon the test now. There will be a lot of reading, and some math, some disturbing photos, and some bothersome ethical decisions to make. You will hate it, and the results are going to go on your permanent record.

    Have a nice day.

  • 2
    The Great Depression exerted strange influences on eating habits and cooking well into the second half of the 20th century. Which 'food' product sounds most appealing?

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