• When I was a little kid, my grandfather would take us out on his boat and we'd sail all around the coast of Maine. I remember thinking at the time that it was so much fun I hoped he'd fall off, so I could take the boat to Africa.

        Each of us is selfish, and a little bit insensitive. This quick quiz measures how sympathetic you are to those less fortunate, and how much ill shit you secretly hope will happen.

       My father, for example, would pat me on the back while gazing out over the deep blue ocean, and he'd always smirk and say the same thing: "I wonder what the poor people are doing."

        I would like it if my dad took this test, if he's out there.

        For each of the 20 statements, please choose the option that best expresses your sentiments.