Welcome to the non-programmer's geekery quiz. Don't worry, it works if you know regular expressions, too!
I'll be asking you a battery of questions, then submitting your answers to our robot overlords, who will determine if you are an advanced lifeform or a harmless sheep. If their judgement seems harsh, don't worry--there's still time to level up before the inevitable apocalypse that will follow the singularity.
(All images courtesy of Randall Munroe and used under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License. Answer 3 on question 10 was ganked from the readers of wired.com, probably without permission.)