• Hi! And welcome to my Quirky Fuck Buddy Test Test. This is really just for guys, but I do like the ladies as well. I'm not really shallow when it comes to relationships, but let's face it, looks matter, especially in a "no strings" situation (strings are for puppets). That being said, there's gotta be some mental stimulation as well. I'd rather stay home with my battery-powered friend than be slobbered on by a droog. You have to be a little strange as well because normal is boring. Let's see how you shape up. Excuse me for my typos as this set-up is a bitch to edit.
  • So, as I said, looks honestly matter. I've tried to pretend that they don't and the results were disasterous. So let's not kid ourselves here. Be honest, because I'm psychic and I know where you live.
  • 1
    Ok, starting with the basics. How tall are you?

  • 2
    What's your body type?

  • 3
    How would you describe your looks?

  • 4
    What's more important: length or girth?

  • 5
    Which of your features do you get the most compliments about?

  • 6
    All right, so you're a hottie. But can you handle the goods? Let's get sexy. I like to play dress up. Do you?

  • 7
    Dominant or submissive?

  • 8
    Would you rather watch or be watched?

  • 9
    Scenario: I invite you over and when you arrive you find me and my best friend semi clad and ravenous. You

  • 10
    So we're fucking like leprechauns on acid and you can't hold out any longer. Your cum's all over my face, but I'm still raring to go. What do you do?

  • All right, now that I've got you hot and sweaty and craving my ass, I'm going to switch gears here and make you think with your other head. (I'm a tease and you LOVE it!)
  • 11
    When you read a newspaper, what section do you tend to gravitate to?

  • 12
    How many books do you read a year?

  • 13
    Poetry?

  • 14
    Do you think former Canadian Prime Minister Louis St. Laurent should have been forced to resign after it was revealed that he had a squalid love affair with Sue Johansson?

  • 15
    Scenario: We're down at the pub for a pint when I bring up a taboo political subject that I know we're at odds about. You

  • 16
    Irish whiskey or Scotch?

  • 17
    Do you talk to squirrels?

  • 18
    I recently had an altercation with a large Polish man who thought it was cool to toss a water bottle out the window of his parked car when the garbage can was five feet away. He was ready to fight. If you were there, would you back me up?

  • 19
    Where is your ideal hang out?

  • 20
    Of the following people, who do you relate to the most?

  • 21
    If you video tape yourself masterbating and then watch the video and masterbate to it, does that make you gay?