• Greetings. You must be seriously bored if you are taking this test. This is a test that will discover the real you; and link you to the animal that most reflects you soul, and your potential. Or not. But it is a way to spend five minutes of your life that you'll never get back. I will be your host, and together we'll delve into the dark, hidden recesses of your character, using state of the art psychological profiling techniques, taught to me by a wise badger one night as I was following the trail left by a disgruntled Forest Penguin. Now you too will learn the secrets of life. "To know yourself is to fly with the squid and the antelope, and know the joy of a fish in your trousers"