The Whom You Will Meet in the Next World and How They'll Feel About Seeing You Test

  • Yeah, you wish death looked like that, don't you?

     

    Anyway, she's not the point.  The point is she's just going to drop you off somewhere and you'll have to deal with the much better dressed people who are running the soup kitchens for your newly homeless soul.

     

    So, after consulting my priest (Mr. Daniels) and my godfather (Bud), I've written this test to determine the person or persons to whom you're most likely going to have to explain the decisions you made in your wasted life.

     

    But to make this test useful to you, I will also use your answers to determine how happy these folks are going to be to see you.  So don't get excited yet about meeting the God of Abraham.  He might just kick your ass.  And NOBODY whupped ass like Him.  Salt.  He turned that chick to salt.  I mean, Jesus.

     

    Anyway, this test will determine your S.O.B. (Signifigant Ominipotent Being) by measuring your soul on four axis.  This test has been validated by all the metaphysical entities mentioned, so if you think you're a Buddhist and it turns out you're an atheist, I have it on Buddha's authority, so get used to it.