OkCupid.com: Free Online Dating
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— The Boston Globe
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— The Village Voice
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Written by Miscommunicate
Fake it, kiss them gentley, then cuddle.
Finish quickly. Why shouldn't I get to go too?
Ignore their lack of interest and thrust harder, faster.
Shove them away and sleep on the opposite side of the bed.
Cry a little (or a lot), but forgive them (eventually).
Pretend to forgive them long enough to get that last good fuck.
Break it off, they can't be trusted.
Don't really care, as long as they used protection. Besides, you've done it too.
Say it back, you'll feel it eventually. No sense in hurting their feelings.
Say, "I know, I care about you too".
Say, "Seriously? Maybe you should reconsider".
Say, "You're pathetic".
Tell them you're going out, end of story.
Sense their distrust, and stay in just to prove your love and devotion to them.
Tell them you're committed and they have nothing to worry about.
Ignore them. Besides, you're only in it til the lease expires anyway.
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