Jan 20, 2010 10:20am

@superbread i've been saying the word 'race' a lot. it needs more synonyms. the english major in me is cringing.


Jan 20, 2010 7:39pm

For me, race can be similiar to height, weight, hair color or other physical attributes. Some people may not be attracted to certain races. Just like some men may not be attracted to me because I'm tall, "too thin", or not blonde. There is a clear distinction between lack of physical attraction vs hate.


Jan 20, 2010 7:49pm

Race doesn't affect whether or not I'm interested. The last guy I dated was black and the guy before my ex was white.

Although, I must say that I'm amazed at the fact that there are still some people that frown upon interracial relationships. Not that it mattered, but my exs family were pissed when they found out that I dated a black guy. I've even ran into some people that will flat out never "mix."

I don't see anything wrong with not being attracted to a certain race, but if someone specifically excludes someone because of their race then that's just moronic.


Jan 20, 2010 7:52pm

^Very well put. And no over usage of "attracted" and "race" too!


Jan 20, 2010 8:20pm

I'm not attracted much to black men, but then again, the main actor in Stomp the Yard is hot. If the guy is knock out hot, he's hot and there's no denying it no matter what color he is. OKCupid has pretty much matched me with a lot of white men my age--it's not because I prefer it, it's because that's what's around. Really, it's all up to the person and how they've dated in the past. I'm attracted to good looks. I really do think I must be attracted to the person physically, if they have something behind the looks, it's even better, if not, I don't waste my time.

Great question.


Jan 20, 2010 10:41pm

elle_fiasca: You look very nice. Its the persons fault who dont explore a possibility to meet you in person.

There are jugdements by exreamist, but in minoraty thank God. Dont let them to control your mind.

Keep it open  and enjoy life. Youre young, Im not so young and I enjoy every day its fullist. :)


Jan 21, 2010 7:30am

elle_fiasca: Thanks for your post. I too wondered about the trends reported in the blogs, and this post has been really interesting and enlightening to me, and probably a lot of other people. 

But I think I'm more offput by the terrible grammar of black guys in my area - on the occasions that I've gotten terribly misspelled messages from white guys, I was equally repulsed. And when I get messages that are intelligent and are looking for a conversation, I generally respond likewise, no matter the race. Because even though I have a bias, I don't feel like my preference is set in stone. 

I think preference is fair, though - I like guys that are taller than me, but if I meet a really great guy that happens to be shorter than me, I think I'll cope. Same goes for ethnicity, hair color, educational status, occupation, etc. 


Jan 21, 2010 12:11pm

In more recent years I have only been attracted to white guys. When I was in high school I had a mad crush on a guy from India. He was adopted when he was a real little baby, and his skin color did not matter to me. I am attracted to guys that are close to me on intelligence level and social class (I am not saying other ethnicities are dumb and poor. This is just what mostly attracts me to someone). I live in an area that is predominantly white. I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I'm close minded and it's hard for me to move out of my comfort zone of the way I live. If a really rich African American guy was interested in me, I would most likely reject him just because I am intimidated by really rich guys.

I think this is the case with a lot of people. There are exceptions out there. I am not one of them.


Jan 21, 2010 8:33pm

Race is not an issue.  If you're sexy, you're sexy, end of story.  If you're appealing to me and have a decent profile, I will probably send a message.  


Jan 21, 2010 8:49pm

I'm Indian and I almost exclusively date people who are ethnically different from me. So far I've covered Romanian, Filipino, German, Scandinavian, Indonesian and Chilean. I love learning about their cultures, eating the food and just being with someone who's outlook on the world is very different than mine. There are so many beautiful women from every part of the world, why limit yourself?


Jan 21, 2010 9:09pm

people who care about "race" are either flat-out imbeciles, have some kinda issues/baggage/neuroses, or were raised that way and have yet to learn any better.

Jan 22, 2010 5:17pm

I doubt most people care about race primarily / explicitly.

Most people care about characteristics (mostly physical and cultural) that have racial correlations.


Jan 22, 2010 7:38pm

What an awesome thread.

Physically, I've never been interested in Indian men, even if I found them attractive.  I'm not quite sure what it is.  I can appreciate beauty regardless of race, but there are definitely some features that I strongly prefer.  I also feel the same way about some mixed (black/white) men and I suspect it has something to do with how similar they look to me.  I'm just not physically attracted to men who might be mistaken for a relative.

After reading the OkTrends blog regarding race, I wondered if my ethnic ambiguity allowed me to be more successful than other black women.  I'm very curious as to whether mulattos (I love the word ironically) like myself are treated as black or as something else as far as response rates go.

For the curious, I am black, white, Filipino and Native American.


Jan 23, 2010 10:25am

I have a really specific physical type: taller than me, dark hair, blue eyes, preferably wearing dark framed nerd glasses. Just looking around a room, I don't notice guys other than that. For a long time I rejected anyone who didn't fit that look. But a few years ago I consciously made myself stop being so overly picky about something so superficial and dumb. As a result two of the three guys I've loved were blondes; one tall, one short, both with blue eyes, neither with glasses. And both insaaaaanely attractive to me. So it was a good thing to get over.

But I am not physically attracted to other races. And related to the OP's original post about being in L.A. and thinking everyone was liberal and doesn't care about race in dating, I grew up in Seattle, where you're not even supposed to acknowledge that race exists. Thus I feel like the worst person in the world admitting I'm not into other races. But sometimes I think, "hey, I let the tall/dark/blue eyed thing go and met amazing men for it, I need to figure out a way to let go of this, too." So I don't know. I don't think I'm into it, but maybe there's wiggle room for the right person. I'm not sure if I should just accept what I'm naturally attracted to, or push myself to get over superficial things like that.


Jan 23, 2010 11:04am

Physically, I've never been interested in Indian men, even if I found them attractive. I'm not quite sure what it is.

It could be the cultural distance or just a combination of many factors. Unimportant.


Jan 23, 2010 11:08am

But I am not physically attracted to other races. And related to the OP's original post about being in L.A. and thinking everyone was liberal and doesn't care about race in dating, I grew up in Seattle, where you're not even supposed to acknowledge that race exists. Thus I feel like the worst person in the world admitting I'm not into other races.

That is the worst effect of forced social political correctness when it starts intruding into personal matters where it does not belong. Ultimately, all such considerations are fake, and having opinions honestly expressed is the best policy. They may be uncomfortable truths, but I think that the society needs to stop demonizing personal choices.

Now if you were doing this at work in professional choices, people would rightly have an issue.


Jan 23, 2010 11:49am

i think part of it is that african american women seem to be the group most obsessed with race. ive had very few black female friends, and ive been told repeatedly that its because im not "black" enough. and i think that that stereotype is easier to misplace on the internet than it is in person. in the same way that there are black men that only date non-black women, there are a good number of black women who will only consider black men, so many dont bother because they think they will be immediately rejected. 


so perceived racism and intimidation, i think. that being said, i tend to find hispanic men most attractive. who knows why.


Jan 23, 2010 7:54pm

I think most people have a racial preference - this does not mean they are racist or something. It's just the way physical attraction works. I'm Indian myself, and my last two girlfriends have been white. Physically and sexually, I am most attracted to white girls - there is no doubt about that. A hot redhead is my biggest weakness. After that I'd have to say an attractive Indian girl is the second best. Latinas can be attractive too.

I am least attracted to Asian (oriental) girls - even though I find some Vietnamese women gorgeous. I have never dated/hooked up with a black girl - so I don't know how it would be. I am curious though.

But in the end of course, it's the complete package - looks, brains, all that. I remain very open. But I think everybody has a race that they are more attracted to and for me that's white.


Jan 23, 2010 8:26pm

Some racial stereotypes that I have noticed...hope nobody gets offended. These are just race based things I've noticed or observed and I might totally be wrong - so please correct me if I am. These are very very broad generalizations so I apologize in advance. It's just for kicks.


Asian (oriental) girls are the biggest race traitors. They prefer men of other races than their own race. I really feel bad for Chinese guys. That being said, asian girls love white guys.

Indian girls love Indian men - very loyal in terms of race. They also secretly like white guys - but most will end up with an Indian guy. To them, culturally, its a much better choice.

White guy don't know what a hot asian or indian girl is - to them its all exotic. The asian/Indian girl that white guys will date, usually asian men/indian men will not date these girls.

Black women like dating black men, but are generally pissed off that black men like white women. I don't know why this is, but I can only guess and I can't say it out there.

The modern day Latina woman likes white guys. Period.

Latino men love white girls. Period.

And finally...... the white girl.

The white woman, from my experiences, gets the equal opportunity dating award. They are generally pretty open minded - but then again in live in the most liberal part of the country. I've noticed a lot of white girls have a thing for brown men - Persian, Indian, etc. but are kinda scared to do anything about it b/c daddy might go mad. That being said, these are pretty highly educated, open minded, liberal and well traveled white women. I don't know the white white girl. She might be only into white guys.

That being said, and I should probably post this in the Rant section - I think OKC needs to have a racial preference section in the skinny. I think it's fair to say that a lot of women on here - white and non-white will only date white guys. That way, us non-white guys can stop wasting our time messaging women who only date white men - for whatever reason.


Jan 23, 2010 8:37pm

I am open-minded, and see beauty in individuals of all kinds of every ethnicity. As someone else here said, hot is hot!

That said, bald is a turn-off for me. Don't need a full head of hair, but something to "grab onto"... :D

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