Do you generally write okcupid users, or do they generally write you first?

Vote

MisterCreep

Feb 17, 2014 10:00am

Men like to chase. Women like to be chased. That's why.

It's nice to get messages. It's quite the ego boost. But girls aren't doing themselves any favour boosting my ego. I'll only want it less.

#theuglytruth

T-money2158

Feb 18, 2014 2:57pm

Because it's creepy.  And it's easier to respond, as oppose to initiate. 

Chaeddd

Feb 18, 2014 4:25pm

Because it is the custom for the man to make the 1st move.

If a woman does the 1st message, it makes people think "well, why did she make the 1st move". Too often their answer is something about her being a slut or she is so desperate she has to do the man's job.

tv-kenny

Feb 22, 2014 4:35pm

Men like to chase.

Because it is the custom for the man to make the 1st move

I wish these dudes wouldn't try to speak for every guy like we are all the same, shit is annoying.

50ShadezOfHay

Feb 22, 2014 6:58pm

^ I agree with Kenny on his last post.

I don't mind the chase and like to make the first move in the real world.  Online with this dating platform I just feel a role reversal would be better.  Relatively frequently women tired of the spam, lewd and other pathetic incoming email decide to browse profiles and email me.   Some other online dating requires a mutual like from both parties before messaging is even possible.   This also works much better than here. 

MisterCreep

Feb 23, 2014 11:52am

I wish these dudes wouldn't try to speak for every guy like we are all the same, shit is annoying.

It might be an overgeneralization, but I think most guys like the chase. At least a little bit.

#superlazykidwhobarelyeverchases

tv-kenny

Feb 23, 2014 6:43pm

It might be an overgeneralization, but I think most guys like the chase. At least a little bit.

 

Do you have a pie chart for the number of "most guys"?

MisterCreep

Feb 23, 2014 7:46pm

Scientific proof!

The different colours represent different ranges of manlimanlimanliness (a scientific unit for measuring a man's willingness to chase). As you can see the opaque and red sections, which represent the highest levels of chasing desire, compose well over half the pie chart.

mollyrosecg

Feb 27, 2014 4:56pm

I have sent messages to guys, but it's generally just to compliment something I read, either in their profile or their question explanations. It's usually the latter, and I thought it was funny. Basically, I'm not going initiate contact if I don't have anything to say.

MollyAgain

Feb 28, 2014 6:13am

I think sometimes ppl forget that being online and meeting someone you connect with, or would approach is just as likely to happen as it is irl.

 

BiggestCockEver

Feb 28, 2014 2:20pm

If they won't write voluntarily, we must force them to write to us!

Tulefel

Feb 28, 2014 3:03pm

My parents chose my name. Then the society I’ve happened to be born into chose my future path in terms of language, tradition, education… (for some of you even religion, ie a set of mind). Someone chose to circumcise you, Jezeez Chrysler! And now they are calling me slut and needy because I decided to choose myself who I’d like to sleep with?

 

You like to chase? Chase!

 

The choice is mine.

 

Chaeddd

Feb 28, 2014 5:37pm

^ your parents named you after the devil? or is that "teufel"?

The way we play this game is the beautiful young woman is the prize that the men compete for. If you are a prize you don't need to do anything to attract men's attention.

The object of the game is for the men to get to the prize without being rejected.

If you don't want to play games, then use a computer algorerhytm that will hook up couples based on the 29 degrees of compatibility, this way neither the man nor the woman has to make the 1st move.

Tulefel

Mar 1, 2014 8:16am

Considering the gender, it would have been Teufelin, wouldn’t you say?   :)

 

The way we play this game is the beautiful young woman is the prize…

 

Do you really treat women as an unanimated object or is some kind of a pose? Well… whichever it is, I’m certainly not living my life as if it’s a game on your conditions. Never had, never will.

 

 

sandyvs

Mar 1, 2014 1:39pm

^Love and agree with that comment.

"The way we play this game"

Who, exactly is this 'we' you speak of? I certainly don't date men with that mind set.



Chaeddd

Mar 2, 2014 7:21am

Perhaps the word "prize" is used for an object or thing in the Swedish language but I was using a more general definition. In this case the woman is a human being, she is called a prize because men compete for her.

Such a woman just can't hide how marvelous and desirable she she is.

Things get competitive because for every hot chick there are several men. The winners get a hot chick, the guys who were not able to get her are the losers, hopefully they can figure out what is wrong with themselves and fix it.

For you girls, this may not be a game. It is more like a eugenics program.

If she looks good, the men who want to schtup her, offer to have a relationship with her. She hooks up with the best man and breeds. This way her offspring avoid inheriting the inferior genes of the losers, and the next generation of our species has a better chance of survival.

We like to think we are superior to the animals so we may avoid talking about the inconveniant truth I mentioned.

However if you closeley examine a large gathering of men and women you will see the game going on.

The men look over the women and decide if one or more of them is a prize, they then attempt to start a relation ship with the looker which they hope may involve getting into her pants in the future.

Mathman1ca

Apr 17, 2014 11:55am

My parents chose my name. Then the society I’ve happened to be born into chose my future path in terms of language, tradition, education… (for some of you even religion, ie a set of mind). Someone chose to circumcise you, Jezeez Chrysler! And now they are calling me slut and needy because I decided to choose myself who I’d like to sleep with?

"Being needy" is not directly related to being slutty.

Either way, I believe if you are a slut, then you are a slut. I'll have to look up the definition, though. 

Yep. The definition says you are a slut if you are a woman who has many casual sexual partners. Maybe we should have a sit down with Noah Webster about that. Very sexist indeed. But....

as you put it you choose to be a slut.

It's not picky to prefer someone within your own age group. 

In any case, my point was that, as a young 20-something, women are pickier than men.  And it's true. 

I wish I could say your point is well made, but your logic is too flawed to agree with that. In spite of the fact that I agree about women being pickier (at least more selective) than men. 

 

85Libra

Apr 21, 2014 7:06am

I don't care if a woman messages me first or even approaches me first. We're adults and find the whole thing slightly childish when people are worried about tradition and gender roles and public perception. If a chick is interested in a guy instead of waiting and playing the guessing game, they should approach him and online they should message him and vice versa. The only thing you're doing is expressing interest and giving off "subtle" clues, those clues that women think are obvious aren't always obvious to guys. Half the shit that girls have told me they've done to get my attention, I mistakenly took as them being polite. It would be a lot easier if they told me that they thought I was cute and that they wanted my number so that we can get to know each other more. 

MessageAfterTone

Apr 22, 2014 8:18am

I get a lot of messages from women*.

 

*It's all spam though. Here are some examples:

I got to laeve asap, but if u wuold lkie to chat text message me go (614)379-3776

Hi messageaftertone, I am looking for a new friend, would you like
to te xt? I am in new york now. My number is `646653 zero eight 96, text me if you like.

sailortrinity

Apr 30, 2014 12:35pm

I message guys all the time despite not getting a reply 90% of the time, I still do it.

it's not desperate, its called "I am bored thats why I decided to message you. I use you, you use me. Fair game." =P

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