Jan 14, 2010 2:28pm

Race affects nothing for me, others equally shallow things take greater precedence for me like height (shallow) and education (not so shallow)


Jan 14, 2010 2:31pm

OP: Personally, I really think race is nothing. Some of us are more attracted even to what it is different. 


Jan 14, 2010 2:40pm

i say a lot


Jan 14, 2010 2:41pm

OP, I've read all of these responses and I doubt that you're getting very many honest answers. To say that "race doesn't matter to me" either shows a lack of racial awareness or partial apathy towards the issue.

As far as preference goes, part of it is the environment you're a part of and part could be culture. America is still predominately Caucasian and because of this, certain skin types have always had an advantage, it's simple numbers.

The mind systematically chooses what traits it's the most familiar with and can recognize to reproduce. We choose the eyes we like to look at, the hair color that attracts us most, the height of those we find attractive and the skin color of those we find attractive... even if we don't know it.

Race matters, but to what degree is up to the individual.


Jan 14, 2010 2:46pm

I mostly think  it's because of the physical attraction...

I for instance, having grown in a different country, didn't really know about all the racist acts here in the US before 50s. Therefore I never thought about discriminating and that was not because I was raised by instructions about how not to be racist based on color, but it was because I wasn't even aware of something like that... But still, I'm just not physically attracted almost any black women. I don't even check out the profile because I just don't get that "Wow" thing when browsing through the little profile pictures in the "matches" section... Sorry but you asked to be honest... 

I need to know the percentage of the ethnicities of the members, and if they are physically attracted to x race (May that be caucasian, black, middle eastern, asian, latino etc.)... So if the guy, even at a sophisticated wine bar never has that thought about approaching that race-x lady because he's just not attracted to that race, that guy will not even look at the profile...

That's what I think...

Good luck



Jan 14, 2010 3:02pm

Darkness: my ex is black (not saying African american here because he is Brazilian). For some of us race is nothing (meaning not a determining factor). Believe it or not, there are countries where race is not that important and we see behind it.  My response was totally honest.


Jan 14, 2010 3:18pm

I think that if I have any preferences towards race its because of outside factors & doesn't necessarily have anything to do w/whether or not I find someone attractive. In the past, a couple of years ago, before I was more secure in myself & looked more to my family for guidance, I tended to date mostly black men because the majority of my family is from the south (Jackson, MS) & I feared their disapproval or judgment, not only that, but I didn't want to deal with all of the bull shit I'd get. Then I decided, when I met someone outside of my race who I was interested in that I wasnt going to let their opinions dictate how I lived my life & now I do what I want & race doesn't play a factor at all. In fact, I love being introduced to new cultures & ideas that I haven't been exposed to (not saying you can't get this by dating someone of the same race, but I think you guys understand what I'm alluding to). 

My point is that I can imagine this being a factor that would play in as well, whether or not people realize it. People being afraid of their friends or families disapproval or judgment, or even fearing that someone of a different background might not relate to them as well. 

In other news, I really appreciate all of the insight that this thread has brought on, especially since the okcupid trend blog didn't really have any speculations as to why certain people were messaged more than others, they just stated the statistics. 


Jan 14, 2010 6:38pm

magicamethist22, then my argument excludes you, congrats.


Jan 14, 2010 6:55pm

Race plays no factor in the person's potential to make for an exciting relationship personally. Attraction-wise, race still doesn't matter as much. I'm more attracted to people opposite to my race, but I still won't exclude black women because of that. I see that at least between white women and black women, they are two totally different worlds and perspectives.

In my experience, a lot of the white female personalities are more upbeat, driven by spontaneity and are more forgiving for whatever faults I might have. Black women to me, appear to be stronger in their self-respect/esteem levels, have no-nonsense attitudes and are more likely to confront you if there are any problems. On the other hand, white females have been far more serious about getting to know me as opposed to black females who are sometimes a little too flirtatious and playful. It's always interesting to compare both races and see the good benefits that each one holds.


Jan 14, 2010 7:02pm

I feel it shouldn't matter.... however others see it different...  I feel if the love is there then its there.


Jan 14, 2010 7:05pm

I only message Eskimos.


Jan 14, 2010 7:05pm

Excuse me: Inuit.


Jan 14, 2010 7:14pm

I'm not attracted to Asians. Yeah, I feel pretty guilty about it


Jan 14, 2010 7:17pm



Jan 14, 2010 7:17pm

Not attracted to Asians? Statistically speaking, that's daffy. Asian women are complete sexiness. Americans love them in their porn.


Jan 14, 2010 7:23pm

i couldn't care less. i've only ever gone out with chicks from amazonian jungle tribes, but i think that's just an accident of coincidence.


Jan 14, 2010 7:37pm

While I've only dated white guys, I've definitely been attracted to guys of different races. It's more of a person to person basis to me.


Jan 14, 2010 8:01pm

I think a lot of the reason people are dodging this question so much is because they are worried that they will be labeled as a racist.  When the case really is that because of the typical differences between races due to cultural pressures people will tend to date within their own race. This is the simple fact they would prefer someone with a similar upbringing and value system as themselves. That being said:

The whole concept of race doesn't matter to me is valid in my case as well.  However, if you view all of my previous girlfriends you will find out of the 8 or so that I dated for more than a few months only one was a minority.  This fact is simply because of the pressures that are placed on all the races by american society and the differences that arise because of those pressures.


Jan 14, 2010 8:07pm

I don't think I've ever felt the pressures of society in that regard, I mostly chalk it up to living in an area isn't very racially diverse.


Jan 14, 2010 8:25pm

In the past, I have dated non-white men, specifically European (darker-skinned) and Mexican.  I am strongly attracted to Mexican/Hispanic men - actually all my friends think it's hysterical that I can find a Hispanic guy in any room and be immediately attracted to him, pretty much no matter what he looks like haha.

Now, however, I have made a conscious decision to only date white men.  This is not due to physical attraction, but due to cultural issues.  Different races have different cultures, and sometimes the different cultures just completely clash.  I've found that it's hard enough maintaining a solid relationship with a white man from a similar background, and then when you throw in a completely different culture, you're just making life that much harder on yourself....  Just how I feel about the situation now....

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