Apr 12, 2012 11:50am

And when I think gaucho, I think ugly wide-legged pants. I just can't win.


Apr 12, 2012 1:01pm

I don't judge people for feeling how they do about anything, but I get judged all the time. Sucks to be on the receiving end of that all the time. Getting judged all the time is why I got divorced! It sucked then and it sucks now!

I pretty much try not to judge others, and what other people think of me is none of my business. I'll never forget an incident that happened at work years ago. I was married, (didn't cheat) and was thinking about all the gossip that went on there; Who's screwing who, who's cheating on their spouse, who separated, etc. I was thinking, 'Well, at least no one can talk about me, because I haven't done anything'. A few months after that, someone told me that it was 'common knowledge' that I had been sleeping with this guy at work, FOR YEARS! I'd never even HUGGED the guy. That was when I completely quit caring what others thought of me. It didn't matter, there would always be some that think the worst.


Apr 12, 2012 1:05pm

When I think ugly wide-legged pants, I think "trouble".


Apr 12, 2012 1:13pm

JNCO jeans and wallet chains.


Apr 12, 2012 1:55pm

Miss Fat-fat-fat nailed it.

And here's the interesting part: The double standard she points to (along with the underling notion that sex needs to be repressed in general) also exists in the "swinging" community and its sex sites.

"that shit's not gonna change" 


Apr 12, 2012 2:28pm

"that shit's not gonna change"

So, why bother fighting it? Not worth MY time.


Apr 12, 2012 2:38pm


Because thoughts become words.. which become deeds.. which becomes character and that becomes destiny, Sandy. That's why.

But in either case I don't believe the OP is out to change anything much as comment on it.

The truth is, common mores and sexual politics are in flux here in the modern age.

Unfortunately they still haven't caught up with sexual repression.



Apr 12, 2012 2:42pm

Because thoughts become words.. which become deeds.. which becomes character and that becomes destiny, Sandy. That's why.

Not always. I doubt it actually happens that way, .....often.

But in either case I don't believe the OP is out to change anything much as comment on it.

Agreed. THAT is why it is posted in rants and raves.


Apr 12, 2012 2:43pm

Why bother fighting a negative stigma, yeah? Just go with it and it become part of the problem while complaining about it. Yeah. I dunno. Just have some confidence and don't worry too much about what other people think. They're all judging you anyway. And you're judging them. Occasionally you judge each other as equals and voila, casual sex.


[And my usage of the word "you" is general, not you specifically, sandyvs.]


Apr 12, 2012 2:55pm

Fat, I DON'T judge anyone, unless they're a BAD parent. Otherwise, I really don't care.


Apr 12, 2012 3:36pm

Ha, you're not honest with yourself. Everyone judges everyone.

Apr 13, 2012 5:02am

Judging does not necessarily mean judging negatively. True we judge everyone. It is human nature to judge everything; that's the only way you know whether or not do take any action. I guess what is the difference for me is judging someone to be not of your liking and then explaining to that person why you find them to be below your level of acceptance. Or worse, explaining to that person why they should have known better than to think that they would be appreciative of that person attempting to rise above their obviously lower class and considering even the possibility that they would lower themselves to get into any sort of relationship with that person. Or something to that affect.


Apr 13, 2012 6:49am

Ha, you're not honest with yourself. Everyone judges everyone.

Really Fat, I don't. One of my friends said that about me years ago. I asked her what she meant by that and she said, "You just accept people. You say, "That's just the way they are". Yeah, I'll say/think someone is an asshole or an idiot, but I would NEVER not be friends with someone because of the way they lived or because someone else looked down on them.


Apr 13, 2012 7:30am

"I pretty much try not to judge others." 


^That's what you said a couple posts back, Sandy, and frankly I think it's a more reasonable statement.


Of course I wouldn't ming being judged by you in some areas... *ahem*


Sep 12, 2012 3:08am

Bumping this for a question.

I find this topic interesting, and made a thread in DAF about casual sex.

The issue of double messages/standards came up in this thread, but it's about how women view men who check 'casual sex' on their profiles. (in a negative light, supposedly)

But the men are basically for begin honest, and that they shouldn't be viewed negatively for their forthrightness.

So, address the opposite  - a woman checks casual sex on her profile.

Is there anything negative that comes up for the guys?  And I'm including that, if you're happy to see that checked, there isn't also a little sly condemnation going on, like "ah, she's for casual sex, that little slut," etc?




Sep 12, 2012 3:29am

my problem with casual sex is that I'm not getting enough of it


Sep 12, 2012 3:31am

^ hehe, maybe you should check the "casual sex" option on your "what I'm looking for..."


Sep 12, 2012 3:37am

Yeah right! haha


casual sex is the "kiss of death" for men's profiles


Sep 12, 2012 3:57am

and what about women's profiles?



Sep 12, 2012 4:02am

People just assume that a guy would like casual sex. There is no reason to mention this on his profile, he would be telling you something you already know.

Talking about how you like casual sex is something that you don't talk about with anybody you meet. So the result of this is that people will think that he is the kind of guy who wants casual sex, and not a serious relationship with 1 sex partner.

For many women this is a red flag.

It is not completely unlike saying that he likes to go to swinger parties, but they won't let him in unless he comes there with a woman.

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