Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color / racial background?



Oct 6, 2013 7:31am

Yes, I strongly prefer merfolk, they are cooler, that’s why. Yellow submarine… Catty Sark… Naiads and Nereids… feels like my element.



Oct 6, 2013 7:45am

The mind boggles. Also Daryl Hannah is the only reason I ever watched "Splash".

That and John Candy speaking Swedish.


Oct 13, 2013 5:51pm

I think the wording of this question should be changed. Take out the strongly prefer part. The intent is for people to see who will date interracially but most people don't strongly prefer anything.


Oct 21, 2013 4:01am


"Would you like to go out with some one of your own cultural background?"

That's a much harder question to answer, though, seeing as culture is very poorly defined, whereas race is usually immediately visible at a glance, and is very well defined for people who aren't complete retards (aka who can tell between Asian and native American, or black/Indian). 

Also, as far as the racial question goes, I think it'd make a ton more sense if it were changed to "What races are you willing to date?"  As of now, the question is basically only useful when looking at white women, and some white men. 


Oct 21, 2013 11:52am

i loathe whities.


Oct 22, 2013 6:51pm

So white women are the biggest impediment to improving race relations, huh?


Oct 22, 2013 7:36pm

Yes, I would whole heartedly agree to a question that says "What races are you willing to date"  In my heart of hearts I'm really starting to feel that OkCupid should change its name to OkCaucasian lol.  Because it really appears that the new trend that I am seeing over and over at the end of profiles says "No black guys" or "I prefer white guys only". I'm not really mad, because you like what you like, but I WOULD like a way to have that weeded out because I'm tired of spending 10 minutes reading a profile only to see "No blacks" at the end OR waste an additional 10 minutes coming up with a message only to have absolutely no chance because my race is already a filter. Successful black women, I'm talking about you ;)


Oct 23, 2013 6:36am

I feel like a disproportionate number of women here on this site are naggers.


Dec 28, 2013 8:50pm

I really don't like this question, it makes people sound racist.

I do prefer going out with my own race, because that's what I'm most attracted to. Of course, answering "no" to this question makes me look like an ass.

It "sounds" racist because it IS coming from a racist place.  Your preferences are your preferences, and nobody can tell you you should change them.  But to deny that they come from a racist part of your mindset is absurd.

Many people have varying amounts of racism in their psyches.  If you really don't like being in any way racist, then change it.  If you don't want to or can't, then accept it, don't try to deny a part of yourself because you are ashamed of it.


Dec 29, 2013 4:23am

I wish that questions like this one actually factored in to Quiver matches. Most of my Quiver matches are with white women who "strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color / racial background." I honestly am not bothered by those who prefer such (you have a right to your preference), but matching me up with someone who won't go out with me is pretty useless.


Dec 29, 2013 2:21pm

It is not a racist question at all. You can't help what you're attracted too, wired that way. 

I did answer 'yes' to the particular question, as humans we are natural attracted to people similar to us so I would prefer someone my own race. 

I do find a lot of Indian men attractive but would not date them due to culture differences and would be more comfortable with someone similar to myself . 

It also saves people more time by saying what you're looking for. We are on a dating site full of people we can afford to be picky . 


Dec 29, 2013 7:54pm

Whether or not you can help it is irrelevant to whether or not it is racist.  A part of your internal psyche is evaluating all races besides your own as inherently less desirable as potential partners.  That's textbook racism.  Maybe it came from your upbringing or environment, and is so ingrained that you can't help it.  That doesn't make it not racism.

Now I'm not going to tell you its your responsibility to 'fix' that.  It's your right to be attracted to whatever you want, nobody can tell you otherwise.  Not everyone has to be the perfect 100% un-racist saint of interracial relations.  But trying to deny that this comes from a racist part of yourself is delusional.


Dec 30, 2013 12:24pm

I have seen other questions that are more blunt on this question.  When answering this question it begs for an explanation and if someone doesn't explain their answers then that is on them.  By taking the dozen or so questions that circle around this race issue the person looking at the profile can get a better idea of that person.  A person's racist ideology can influence who they are attracted to even at the subconcious level.  A person's desire for their race or outside their race can influence their racial ideology.  So, its a case by case basis that requires an interrogation of the profile user.



Dec 30, 2013 4:11pm

I think it's weird that according to the stats it's all white women putting they only like us, because pretty much all media about interracial couples since Guess Who's Coming to Dinner has been about white female and "other" male. I think it must just be an American thing.


Dec 30, 2013 11:18pm

@empirestv :

the vast majority of couples in the usa and north america are intraracial, so people preferring to mate with people of their own racial group is banal and the standard. Who are you to "interrogate" the vast majority of couples ? lol.

As for Europe, I'm guessing that even though the borders are open between a lot of those countries, the vast majority of the French are marrying fellow French and the same can be said for the Germans, Spaniards etc. Even within races people prefer the familiar so it's not surprising that between races people would prefer the familiar.

In any case, just how much racism is measured by that question is unclear. I'm sure that my white ex gf would have answered YES to that question and would still answer the same way.



Jan 1, 2014 7:52pm

MetroTonPanton: Pew research determined that 8.4% of marriages are interracial but that 15.1% of new marriages were interracial as of 2010.  While the trend is positive only a small minority of marriages in the US are interracial.  The percentage in Mexico is small at around 5% between Mexicans and Asians.  So, that needs some backing up.

People are not likely to admit they are a racist to a prospective date.  So, in order to dig that out of them it requires lengthy interviews and probing to discover it.  



Jan 1, 2014 7:53pm

Jim_fromspace:I think Hollywood realizes that white men with minority women threatens the status of white women which is a strong tv demographic.  



Jan 2, 2014 5:55am

but more often than not TV interracial couples are white men and black women, so that shoots your theory all to hell.


Jan 2, 2014 5:31pm

trish6912: I think my point was that interracial couples are rare on TV.  And its not what race each gender is but which gender took the initiative in the relationship.  


Jan 5, 2014 6:44am

No, but I have noticed recently that essentially all of my long term relationships with rare exception have been with women with the exact same racial combination as me (Hispanic/White). I don't seek it out by any means, so I've theorized either these women find me more attractive and end up putting more effort into us dating or I'm subconsciously selecting girls that match my genetic make up.

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