Nov 21, 2012 5:25am

Hi, What do you think? My first thought is that my profile's text ought to be revised.  My messages are getting women to come visit my page, but I'm not getting replies back.  Is there a distance factor, too?  They're downstate and I'm upstate.


Nov 21, 2012 8:33am

Maybe you could look at a Jewish dating site if dating Jewish is a must for you.  Maybe there just aren't very many Jewish people on this site. 


Nov 21, 2012 8:37am

You have a penis. That isn't going to help you here, unless your looking for another human with a penis. Since you're not, you're screwed. But things can happen. Good luck!


Nov 21, 2012 9:10am

get some photos which make you look appealing


Nov 21, 2012 10:29am

Maybe there just aren't very many Jewish people on this site.

And a lot of the Jewish people who are on the site are very liberal and not into conservative dudes like OP.


Nov 21, 2012 12:39pm

Thanks for all your comments.  Actually I'm not conservative.  The ones I've sent messages to are Jewish and interested in finding someone else Jewish.


Nov 21, 2012 1:23pm

J Date?


Nov 21, 2012 2:12pm

If finding Jewish counterpart is a requirement, try one of these Jewish dating sites.


Nov 21, 2012 2:14pm

For something long term, dating someone Jewish is a must. I'd want to share everything in a marriage, and my heritage would be part of that. This isn't to say I'm Orthodox. I try to live by the mitzvot and eat kosher, but I also love to probe the origins or meanings of traditions.

Sounds pretty fuckin' conservative to me. Religiously speaking, at least. Not necessarily politically.

I'm "Jewish", but I eat bacon while pissing all over the Torah and smearing menstrual blood on myself, and basically everything else I'm not supposed to do.

If you've seen my profile before I've seen yours and you think we might click, the OKCupid rule is: It’s up to you to say hi. If not, the Profile Police make you do 3 laps around the Internet.

Also, I can't tell if this is a joke or not, but if you actually refuse to message women who viewed you before you viewed them, stop doing that; the women you're after are usually going to be into gender roles shit like "the man making the first move".


Nov 21, 2012 7:57pm

Try, just try, let's say for the 5-6 remaining weeks of 2012 (remember, the Mayans told us this was The End, right? So what does anything matter past 2012), removing ALL of the Jewish and Judaism references from your profile. In fact, change it to Liverpool, England rather than Liverpool, New York. You're a Writer, you can do things like this. Call it roleplay of you wish.

See if that makes any difference. It just might. You might find that some of the Jewish women you message might actually like you, even like you a LOT if they got to know you, but even they might be a little put-off by the exclusivity element of the Jewish thing. They might retreat from feeling their ancestry and religion was their main attraction for you, always having to wonder whether you really liked them, or whether you'd have chosen them over someone you could truly have been compatible with but happened to be a shickse.

Finally, are you certain you'd reject a really nice attractive non-Jew who was willing to convert to marry you, just because fate didn't bring her into the world from a Jewish womb?


p.s. you'll LOVE this joke about aardvarks! - maybe.


Nov 22, 2012 12:22am

Shut up about the Jewish stuff and tell the INTERESTING side of you which is your screenwriting. Give at least some idea WHAT you've written about. You've told essentially nothing specific about this aspect of your life, the aspect that potentially makes you an interesting and attractive person.


Nov 22, 2012 2:22pm

My friend is Jewish and he is having a tough time getting a Jewish girl so I'm going to write to you as if I were writing to him about his OC profile. Its cool that you want to look for someone within your culture/religion, but you should lighten up on the religious references.

Reason being: A) The Jewish girls on this site may not be that into their religion, even the Orthodox ones and they could either be intimidated by your knowledge. B) You leave nothing to mystery. Girls like guys who are a little mysterious. If you mention that you like studying Kaballah and the Torah then that's cool and it gives them something to talk about with you. But you mentioning your Jewish every other sentence and it loses its appeal ("Alright I get it... you're really Jewish")

Example: You could mention that you attend your Shabbat services, learn Hebrew (learning languages is pretty cool in general) and became inspired to study Kaballah and not include the part about many codes and theories about how the bible was written. Let them ask you about the theories if they want to or you can reveal them as you develop your relationship with the girl.

Just mentioning it lightly in your profile at the beginning and at the end is enough for girls to get the message. In fact in the last section I would just keep the first sentence if I were you.

Finally I agree with unassuming_guy about writing more about your screenplay and how you exercise. When I saw your profile that really stood out but you never mentioned it again. Hope this helps. 


Nov 22, 2012 7:37pm

Thanks to everyone who's been posting comments.  This is helpful.  Voomersaur, your comments were exceptional about how it's not balanced in the right area. This has fluctuated through so many drafts. Plus, hearing about your friend was encouraging that I'm not the only one.


Nov 22, 2012 7:47pm

Oh, to What9Thousand, yeah... that last part about the 3 lapse was a joke.  Actually, I remember it was a suggestion from someone else. 


Nov 22, 2012 8:15pm

Keep commenting if anybody likes, but I'm going to rewrite this.  What I want it to say is, generally: I'm fascinated and knowledgeable in these areas, I'm a writer, I'm hoping to date to find someone to marry so us both being Jewish would make a harmonious relationship, and I'm attracted to smart women for an equal basis relationship.  I want my natural humor to come out in it, too. 


Nov 22, 2012 11:27pm

The marriage thing too can be slightly off-putting. One thing you need to learn about OkCupid is that you cannot come into it with expectations of any particular results. It's like going to some social event, a bar, a restaurant, a dance, with the stated intention of bringing someone home that night.

Now, some people can and do do that, particularly females, they can say "I'm going out dancing tonight, and I am going to get laid, by somebody, I don't know who . . . ", but it doesn't work for most of us. OkCupid can work that same way for females, they can put up blank profiles, and get hundreds of unsolicited messages from guys wanting to meet them immediately. But it doesn't work for me nor will it probably work for you, unless you state your income is a million dollars a year.

So it can be hard enough to even get replies on here. See the title of this thread that you wrote yourself to back up that statement. When you state specific immediate goals like getting married, that's just making it even that much harder to even get replies. Too much pressure, people on here don't want those expectations held under their nose.

There are women who write profiles saying "I'm looking for a man to marry on OkCupid . . .", and it's off-putting, it makes you think 'I'm not going to write to this person, she'll be too eager to jump into marriage and view me like a horse she's buying rather than a new person just to be able to have comfortable conversations with'.

So you can just mention that you're hoping or you'd like eventually to get married, but don't state it like this is the express purpose for your being on here. Or, do exactly that if you wish. And write in your "You Should Message Me If . . ." 'you're seriously looking to settle down and get married. If you want to have a baby within the next 18 months. I'm only interested in hearing from women who are on here looking for a husband in the fairly near future. And you must be Jewish, or willing to convert by our 3rd date . . .'

Or you could join a Jewish marriage broker site, and cut out all the extra non-directed efforts, getting right down to business. There are such sites. They do get right down to the nitty gritty with no-nonsense about taking your time to get to know each other casually. That may be the right solution for you, and if it is then fine. But don't expect to approach OkCupid with that same attitude, and find these results. Although anything can happen, it's not inconceivable you could find someone here in that manner. Narrow your Searches to profiles listed as "Jewish, and very serious about it", for your best chances of that.


Nov 23, 2012 9:17pm

i think you should replace your main picture with your third picture. 


Nov 24, 2012 7:38am

Ok.  I edited out a lot of the text.  People advise that longer profiles are more attractive, but then again women are drawn to the mystery man.  Now I know to emphasize more about my writing.  There ought to be plenty there.  I'll list some unique adjectives and spice it up some more.  Anything else?  Basically, it may be skinnier, but how does it look? 

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