Oct 15, 2008 8:44am

LOL, this is funny.

The vagina feels very soft and wet during intercourse. I don't know of any way to simulate it.
- age 14, Ohio

There is nothing like a vagina — even a mouth is a very different feeling. When it's in a vagina, your penis feels totally surrounded and wrapped by hot, wet, slippery flesh. I would think that putting on a condom with some lube inside it while you masturbate would be a pretty close simulation. I have done this before, and it does feel wonderful. You could heat a hot-and-cold pack according to the instructions and wrap it around your penis. Then take a pillow and wrap that around the whole thing and use it to simulate a nice, warm vagina. Of course, you could just do this with the lubed condom and pillow and it feels nice as well. Just remember the recent news item that reported a person burning his penis badly while trying to simulate the way a guy tried to feel what a vagina was like in the movie "American Pie." Think about what you are going to do before you try it!
- age 28, Iowa

Soft, warm, and slippery. Two of the best simulators I have found is a toy called a soccer bopper filled with warm water and lube, or a rubber hot water bottle with just enough warm water to keep it soft and a generous amount of lube on top. Either one is strong enough to lie on top of and thrust away like you were in a vagina.
- age 16, California

Having sex with a woman is the greatest feeling because you're really having sex with someone. The closest thing to a vagina is a device I made after reading how they get semen from bulls. Get a 2-inch PVC "T" connector from a hardware or plumbing supply store. Slip a length of bicycle tire inner tube through it. Invert both ends, and secure them around the fitting with electrical tape. It's hard to do, and you need to pull it taut. It's also necessary that it be a "T" so air can come and go, otherwise it will be too tight. Then use a non-petroleum-based lube and either place it between two couch cushions, or use it standing up. It feels great! Pouring some warm water in through the "T" part makes it feel even better. I don't know why, but I can shoot a good six feet (standing up) when I use this.
- age 46, New York

A vagina is warm, wet, slick, and form-fitting. The best way I've found to simulate it is to take a plastic baggie, put it on the end of a towel folded in half (hot dog-wise) and then rolled up around it. Sometimes I use a second towel rolled around the first one. (Roll them tight!) Then set it beneath your mattress or get on top of it on your bed. Although I've never tried this, you could probably try setting the baggie in the middle of a washcloth that has been soaked with warm water.
- age 16, Washington


"It's important to be able to move my hips in a thrusting motion that is like intercourse. It makes the experience much more of a full-body thing."


Using one of those Speedo silicone swim caps can simulate the warm, soft, slippery feeling of a vagina. Unlike the latex swim caps, the silicone caps are very soft. I add a bit of lube to the swim cap, put my penis inside, and then put it all inside some soft pillows. I usually lie on top of the pillows and prop myself up on my hands and knees as I would during intercourse. Besides having something that feels like a vagina, it's just as important for me to be able to move my hips in a thrusting motion that is like intercourse. It makes the experience much more of a full-body thing than just using my hand — and it's much more fulfilling.
- age 27, Colorado

I like to masturbate lying on my stomach and applying a lot of lube on my hand. I then thrust my hips into my hand, and it feels like it's going through a vagina.
- age 19, Illinois

I have had numerous and varied types of sex...they were all great, but I've found nothing that really feels like a vaginal experience. There is nothing like it, and I think that is the way it's supposed to be. Plenty of females are willing to have sex, so just keep trying until you experience this way, too. And, keep masturbating for the variety of it all.
- age 57, Japan

Buy some of those inflatable arm floaties that people use for little kids so they don't drown. Lube them up, inflate them, and enjoy the amazing sensation of vaginal sex.
- age 18, Texas

The only vagina I know is a very warm, moist, soft, wonderful place. It makes my penis feel like it's floating in a warm, enveloping pool where it was meant to be as it encourages me to probe it and persuades me to leave my semen inside it. It's unlike any other feeling, and I can't imagine getting it from anywhere else. My girlfriend and I both enjoy knowing I have to turn to her for that wonderful feeling, so I don't even want to try simulating it.
- age 23, Illinois

Try some warmed-up liver. Fold it over so it's wrapped around your penis, and then stroke it up and down. It feels just like one!
- age 44, New Mexico

A vagina feels warm and solid and has juices flowing everywhere. I best simulate this with something warm, such as a warmed-up watermelon with a little hole cut in it.
- age 15, Canada

The inside of a vagina feels like the inside of your cheek, except the fluid has a slicker consistency. An acquaintance told me she had a teddy bear that was stuffed with a really soft poly fiber. Well, the bear had a hole in it, and when a male friend would visit her, he invariably would spend some time sticking his finger into the hole with a thoughtful expression on his face. Later, I was at another friend's house and she also had a teddy bear with a hole in it (cheaply made bears — hmph!). So I stuck my finger in, and yeah, it was pretty close, except for not being wet. But the smoothness of that particular stuffing is quite close to feeling like a vagina. But guys, remember to pay attention to her clitoris!
- age 29, California (female)

I'm still a virgin, so I couldn't say what a real one feels like — but if it feels anything like my favorite substitute, I can't wait to find out. First, I make an orifice of sorts by rolling up a thin towel over a latex glove (with the mouth of the glove left outside the tube). Then, I pull the elastic mouth of the glove back down over the towel. I use a rubber band to make sure everything stays secure, and I lube up the glove's inside real well. Finally, I place the whole thing beneath my mattress (or under a pillow for more freedom to move or if I want to lie down). Then I pump away into the tight hole made by the glove-towel combo. I like to use a well-lubed condom to enhance stimulation — great orgasm.
- age 18, Texas

Buy a pair of water wings (child arm flotation devices) and inflate them super-tight. Lubricate them with lotion, and move your hand in and out to heat the inside with the friction. Then insert your penis and enjoy. This is the closest you can get to a vagina without spending money for an artificial one. Moreover, it's a really close match.
- age 24, Tennessee

Hump a warm bowl of Jell-O. I don't know if this feels like a vagina, but it does feel good!
- age 12, Canada

Unlike in the movie "American Pie," a vagina feels more like a piece of steak fresh from the butcher. If you want to slide your penis into a piece of warm meat, I think the experience would be very similar.
- age 24, Virginia

A vagina is hot, moist, tight, and gives you an incredible feeling at orgasm. You can't simulate this feeling, and I wouldn't want to. I masturbate however I like: I use a lot of lube or spit, try different techniques (the Turban from JackinExpert feels great), and enjoy my body, but I don't try to search for a substitute for a real woman. Why should I? If I need the feeling of a real vagina, I sleep with my girlfriend. When I'm single (as I am now) I use my body. It's like if you enjoy Coca-Cola because it's the best drink you know, but you don't have any Coke, what do you do? Search for something that tastes like Coke? You will know that's not a Coke when you drink it, and you will not enjoy it as you would a real Coke.
- age 26, Germany

A vagina feels warm, soft, and wet. To simulate this while masturbating, take a piece of soft foam and cut a slit about the width of your penis in it. Next, insert a condom or a plastic bag (which works just as well) into the slit you made. Now squirt some aloe gel, Vaseline, or K-Y Jelly into the condom or bag. Insert your penis and push it in and out until you reach climax. To simulate the warm feeling, put the entire assembly into a microwave for 5 to 10 seconds — don't let it get too warm or you'll burn yourself. Enjoy.
- age 16, Connecticut

Try warming a banana peel in the microwave — not too hot, just warm. Remove the peel from the microwave, test the heat against your wrist, and then wrap it around your penis and stroke until you climax. It feels great!
- age 36, Arizona

I don't think this question is really appropriate. During sex, you're not just inside a vagina; you're inside a woman. It seems sort of degrading to concentrate on the organ and not the person. That said, with every (female) lover I've had, there were times when we were together that she had to ask me, "Are you in?" And as ridiculous as it might seem, I wasn't always able to answer without looking or feeling with my hand. So, I would say that there's no singularly distinctive sensation from your penis when you're inside a vagina — just an indefinite feeling of warmth, wetness, gentle pressure, and pleasure. For me at least, any attempt at vaginal "simulation" during masturbation would disappoint. Masturbation satisfies in its own way, and a real woman can't be "simulated."
- age 28, Alabama


"Sex is a great, whole-body experience with someone you love. But for a really explosive orgasm, stick to masturbating."


It feels like a silky smooth, lubricated, nice and warm hole. It is not as tight as you might think. You could get more pressure from your own hand. So I would say to best simulate, you would need to lube up and grip sort of lightly, not such a tight grab. Sex isn't what I always thought it would be. It's a great, whole-body experience with someone you love (a must) — but for a really tight, explosive orgasm, stick to masturbating yourself with your own hand.
- age 32, Massachusetts

I sure wish I knew what a vagina feels like.
- age 14, Oklahoma

I have been an avid masturbator since I was 8 years old (that's 88 years for you non-mathematicians), and I have had sexual relations with many women during that time as well. Although nothing beats the real thing, I still enjoy the private time to myself that masturbation provides. A woman's vagina is warm, slippery, and very "tissuey" (feels kind of like the inside of your cheeks). The best way I have found to simulate this is to get a cantaloupe, cut a hole the appropriate size, and hollow it out the proper length and diameter. Hold it steady on a table, in front of you and as you do your thing. It will get softer and a little mushy and pulpy inside, which will also create the proper suction value. I have used this method for almost 50 years, and it works wonderfully well.
- age 96, Texas

After my first sexual experience, I couldn't masturbate for a whole month; it just didn't feel right. I tried, but nothing felt quite as amazing as making love to a girl — not just feeling a vagina for the first time, but the entire act. A month later I discovered K-Y Jelly and experimented with it for a while. That was the first time the Vagina technique [JackinExpert] actually took effect on me. I recommend using K-Y Jelly and whatever technique you favor most to get as close as you can to a real vagina. However, nothing feels as amazing and astonishing as making love.
- age 17, Israel

I find the vagina better than anal sex. The anus is too smooth, while the vagina is more 'bumpy', with ridges that feel different when you use different angles and techniques. To simulate a vagina, I sometimes use a finished toilet-paper roll, lube up the inside, and slide in. Once the lube works itself into the roll, you can squeeze it around your penis for a tighter fit. The best thing about it is that you can either slide the roll up and down with your hand to simulate a mouth, or slide your penis in and out of the roll to simulate a vagina.
- age 29, Canada

What a vagina feels like depends entirely upon your relationship with the girl. For someone you love, trust, and truly care for, a vagina feels like home — a warm, gentle, embracing home. When you have intercourse with a girl you love, you can feel her feelings. For someone you either don't love or don't trust, it can feel like anything from warm, wet masturbation to someone breaking your heart.
- age 35, California

Women who are talented can control the amount of pressure they apply to your penis. Unlike most ways of masturbating, a vagina doesn't give you the feel of finger ridges (which can be good or bad, depending on your mood and what you want). The best simulation technique I have found (although I don't use it often) is to fill a large condom or baggie with lots of lube. Wrap a warm-to-medium-hot hand towel around the condom and maybe a large, thick sock, to even out the feel and pressure. Insert your penis into the baggie or condom and slowly stroke away.
- age 42, Georgia

If you're lucky, a vagina feels warm, wet, and very snug. It's hard to simulate the real thing. The closest I have come to it is to use a larger condom and warm baby oil inside it. Combine this with two pillows to slide between. It is a very pleasant feeling. [Don't use baby oil with a condom when you're having intercourse. -Ed.]
- age 35, Texas

The vagina is very warm, even hot. The feeling is hard to describe, because there is no other like it. My wife feels different to me every time we have sex, depending on her arousal level. The best imitation is a very warm hand and some lube. Stroke the full length of the penis with all fingers wrapped around it. It's very exciting!
- age 25, Iowa

First of all, who cares what a vagina feels like when you can have your hand whenever you want it? However, I do admit that like in the movie "American Pie," I have used an apple pie to please myself, and it felt great! I have also tried using a microwaved banana peel, but I liked the apple pie best.
- age 18, Wisconsin

I've been privileged to enjoy about 10 vaginas in my life, and each was a little different from the rest. What is common, though, is how warm, moist, and slippery they are. And during their orgasm they contract in wonderful spasms. I've never been able to make masturbation feel like intercourse. However, masturbation has its own distinct pleasures, and sometimes I need the pleasure of masturbation more than that of intercourse. Don't sell masturbation short. If you need the pleasure of masturbation and can get your partner to masturbate you, then you can have both the pleasure of masturbation and the intimacy of intercourse!
- age 52, Washington


"The loving caress of another human being just cannot be simulated."


Nothing simulates the feeling of vaginal intercourse. The warm and moist feeling is wonderful, but feeling your penis being completely surrounded is second to nothing. You can't fully appreciate this feeling with any masturbation technique, due largely to the interaction you receive from a partner. The loving caress of another human being just cannot be simulated.
- age 30, Florida

Absolutely the best way to simulate the vagina is to use two condoms. First I apply a Trojan Natural Lamb, and over that I pull a non-lubricated Trojan-Enz that I have first warmed in hot water. Stroke and enjoy!
- age 58, Georgia

The warmth and wet, slippery grip of a real vagina cannot be accurately simulated. Females have a real monopoly on that feel, but some things are good in their own right. A wet and well-lubricated piece of chamois can feel somewhat like the real thing. The foam tube of pipe insulation mentioned in JackinExpert also does a good job. It's best just to masturbate for the joy it brings by itself and let the girls have their special feelings and the joy they can bring to sex with another person. They really are two different experiences.
- age 61, Arkansas

The vagina of a partner who's eager and ready is moist and warm like a mouth, but shaped like the finger of a glove — just big enough to hold your erect penis gently and make you want to move in and out of her. Of course it's between multiple folds of sensitive skin and in a very personal part of her. Time and experience will teach you that part of the "feeling" is the layers of trust and reassurance that you both go through a step at a time in learning eye contact, touching and kissing, letting you look at her genitals, touching them to excite her (and maybe masturbate her), getting positioned for intercourse, entering her vagina, and starting to thrust. You can best simulate the feeling by masturbating in your hand or something tight with one or two types of lotion or "personal lubricant." Put a finger in your mouth and think about how it feels. The rest you have to simulate by fantasy — imagine yourself lasting a long time in her vagina as she learns to enjoy you in there. Like many guys, my first time in a vagina felt so grand I couldn't hold back from ejaculating, and it was over in seconds! And don't worry if you're still a virgin, guys — the longer you wait, the more you learn about boy-girl relations, and the better it will be when the time for intercourse does arrive. And it will.
- age 51, Illinois

Oct 15, 2008 11:02am

Seriously- who has time to read that? If something is interesting, try pasting the good bits only, or just paste the link and invite comment.

Did anyone tell the kid to get an apple pie?


Oct 15, 2008 11:35am

I'm not reading it lol. I was just doing you virgins a favor.

Oct 15, 2008 11:37am

Hold up. Who's a virgin?

Also, I cannot leave it unmentioned: it's masturbation, AC. With a 'u'. *sigh*

Oct 15, 2008 10:52pm

Perhaps he means 'Master Baiting'- the process by which subs attract doms?

Oct 15, 2008 11:30pm

Clever... I somehow doubt it, though. ;)

Oct 15, 2008 11:31pm

h-h-h-hole in the ground, i got erection

Oct 15, 2008 11:56pm

Well plug it Dan!! You can do it.

^^ I also doubt it, he just fails at spelling. I'm from Australia, I'd have just written "wanking".

Oct 16, 2008 12:14am


Oct 16, 2008 12:33am

Why does that word make me giggle so? :)

Oct 16, 2008 1:08am

^^ Bevan :-D

Oct 16, 2008 1:24am

My friend told me he bought a piece of London Broil for said purpose.

Oct 16, 2008 2:31am

LOL,that was funny. Some of those guys score points for creativity.

Oct 16, 2008 2:38am

AC, here's the most important part for you to remember:
And don't worry if you're still a virgin, guys — the longer you wait, the more you learn about boy-girl relations, and the better it will be when the time for intercourse does arrive. And it will.

Good luck, AC :)

Oct 17, 2008 4:12am


Oct 17, 2008 4:18am

Mmmmmmm, I love hot apple pie!

Oct 17, 2008 4:45am

lol yummy trish wanna piece?

Oct 17, 2008 4:51am

Ohhhh yes! Could I?

Oct 17, 2008 5:00am

let me check u out..brb

Oct 17, 2008 5:20am

ok,i don't do women..but you could do me,if you'd like.

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