May 4, 2012 12:39pm

Was wondering if anyone here had experience living with HPV. My boyfriend contracted it very recently, and we have an open relationship. We want to be honest with people but would still like to participate in swinger activities and such, in the safest way possible. Anyone have ideas or personal experience?


May 4, 2012 4:42pm

what are the effects of HPV?  I thought it was fairly benign.


May 4, 2012 6:19pm

There's a vaccine.  It's not given to people your age because it's assumed that anybody with any real sexual history will have been exposed already.  And in all likelihood, flushed it from their systems and developed antibodies.

Still, it's probably wise to bring up with new partners.  Anything that travels by skin-to-skin contact, you can assume everybody in the swinging community has been exposed to it.  People who understand that and take what precautions they can are much better than the ones who get by on not thinking too hard about it.


May 5, 2012 5:22am

I'd just be honest and up-front with any prospective partners about it, and call it a good day since nothing's terribly wrong.  I've had no issues with that method, and most women that I get to talking with a bit are cool about it.  I think the difficulty level would go up significantly if one went to a bar to pick someone up and was all 'hey guess what I've got for ya?!'  So long as it's people you guys know, or a group you guys take some time to get to know, shouldn't be much of an issue at all.



May 5, 2012 9:22am

I'm curious how you know your partner has HPV, since there's no test available for men. As I understand it, the vaccinations stop you from obtaining the strands of HPV that can lead to cancer, they do nothing if you've already obtained HPV. And, like Informavore said, It's assumed that most people have had it at some point and their bodies have gotten rid of it. If you've been tested for it and have been told you have it though, you probably should let people know since it is a risk for women and your partner should let people know since it's likely he's a carrier.


Nov 20, 2012 10:46pm

As far as I know, the vaccine is against two of the most common high risk(cancer causing) strains, and two of the most common low risk(wart causing) strains.


Nov 21, 2012 6:32am

Life after a std.

So far so good......

This is one of my worries. I love to be sexually active; but I really don't want to share a std with others and I absolutely don't want to contract a std from someone else. But how do you know?

I get trust, but what if that sexually interesting person is not trust worthy.

There is a product called divine 9. Its a sex lube.

It blocks the transmission of HPV.

Its not cheap, but nice things cost money....

Its what is available. I use it.


Nov 21, 2012 5:23pm

Simple, stay home and only have sex with your boyfriend.

Look, Life sucks, some people never have sex with another person, the majority are lucky to have 1 sex partner. If you want to take a risk of spreading your disease to other people, you can't expect  people to feel sorry for you.


Nov 21, 2012 6:15pm

forigntony, there are also these things called condoms. They're pretty effective against most things.


Nov 24, 2012 9:02am


Yes, I have seen them before... Have even used them on occasion, a long time age.

But even condoms are not perfect protection.

These days I am a lot more discerning with my sexual partners. The quantity phase has long passed for me.

Bottom line, if I can not trust you to be honest about your sexual health; we are not having sex. These days I would rather not than use a condom. That is my choice. 

The use of Lube is (very often) a part of the sex. One could you which ever sex lube one likes. Divine 9 apparently has the ability to block viruses and its only a couple of bucks more a tube.

I offer a response to, AlaskaOrBust. Its my opinion.

I appreciate your opinion NoturBackupgirl and wish you luck finding what you are looking for.




Nov 24, 2012 6:59pm


AFAIK, none of the topical anti-viral things that have been tested have reliably prevented transmission of STDs. Matter of fact, the clinical trials that were being done, IIRC, were terminated early because the researchers felt they were unnecessarily putting the trial participants at risk due to the lack of efficacy.

And yeah, condoms are not 100% effective at everything either. You could also get an STD despite taking precautions, and a big giant log might fall on your head too. If I had a nickel for everyone I've known or talked-to who got infected by their "monogamous partner"..

At some point you can't just live in complete paranoia.

If you have the money, there are various labs that offer comprehensive STD test panels that can be done for several hundred dollars, some of which provide a sort of "certification" of results if you want.



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