Ugly or Horrible profile?



Jan 31, 2013 7:50pm

I haven't had much luck on this site and am starting to wonder if it's because I'm just really ugly. I don't think I have a terrible profile or am horrifically ugly, but something has to be up considering. If it's a bad profile, some suggestions would be helpful and greatly appreciated. If it's my pictures, any suggestions on better pictures would be nice too. 

And in case you were wondering why I added a poll, I never added a poll to anything before and wanted to try it out once =P. Haha humor me. 

Thanks in advance guys!


Jan 31, 2013 8:10pm

don't rule out the possibility that it's both


Jan 31, 2013 8:32pm

You're short.

You don't list your income. Once you are older than 23, that starts to matter to women.

You look like an Asian version of Webster (the cute black kid from the 80s sitcom, not the dictionary), so probably not ugly, but not someone that makes women swoon.

You're profile is almost good. You're actually funny in places, though women tend to prefer more obvious humor (why Adam Sandler is so popular).


Jan 31, 2013 9:05pm

Remove the first and third pics.    You already have some of the "possible too sensitive nice guy" thing going, and those two pics magnify that effect too much. 


Jan 31, 2013 10:49pm

You're right. That could very well be the case user458. And thanks for the honesty DiscoJer. 


Jan 31, 2013 11:30pm

something_about, you live in the LA area, and your profile describes 99% of the single guys in LA. I could copy and paste your profile to another guy in the LA area, and it would match him completely. If you were a girl in the LA area - which do you want? - a guy who is completely like every other guy in LA you dumped and want to avoid? or something different?

Also, you have to think that you live in the LA area where women are more likely to get slammed by messages because it is the 2nd largest population for a county in the USA outside of New York City. So, if you don't stand out in any significant way and do things in messaging like "HI!" "How are you?" - odds favor her than another guy in her Inbox will.


Jan 31, 2013 11:40pm

What makes my profile just like any other guy in the LA area? Just curious, Professor712. There are a lot of different type of personalities, especially in a metropolitan area like LA and I can't see it being possible that I'm similar to 99% of them. Granted I understand you're exaggerating, but still. Unless you're just referring to my personality/profile being unfavorable in women's eyes, thus speaking in generalities about the correlation of people like me being single because women don't like our personalities.

What do you exactly mean?


Feb 1, 2013 12:36am

something_about, "Besides being a chill laid back guy who likes to laugh a lot (because who isn't on here?) I'm a prolific dreamer and an avid adventurist." Outside of being a prolific dreamer you pretty much described a lot of single men in LA. Not to mention straight/bi/gay men, and straight/bi/gay women all around OkCupid in how they describe themselves. It is too generic of a way to describe yourself. You can take everything, but the prolific dreamer and throw in another guy's profile or almost anyone's profile. The sad thing is many do.

It is unfavorable because anyone can say they are the same thing and not really mean it. And, many do that. Women also look at laid-back, laughs a lot, and into adventure as bullshit unless you can convince them otherwise before they actually meet you. The part I think you did better than most people on is you actually try to show - its just poor topics of choice because they get poorly used so bad -it doesn't take long before new people begin to ignore those profiles. 


Feb 5, 2013 9:29am

You don't list your income. Once you are older than 23, that starts to matter to women.

    Nonetheless, for your own safety, I'd avoid listing it.  Instead list things like experiences that mention your driving, things you do with your house/apartment e.g. remodeling that make it obvious you own it...and so on: the women worth talking to should be able to figure out that means you're independent.


Women also look at laid-back, laughs a lot, and into adventure as bullshit unless you can convince them otherwise before they actually meet you.

   You can prove it by listing experiences that, for example, show you are adventurous.  Like if on a rafting trip you had to paddle sideways to avoid the undertow or you took a day off just to visit a water-park with no crowds or you rode in a bicycle race and made a PR....list it. 

   Things like saying you're loyal is harder...there, it makes more sense to discuss experiences where you went out of your way to help a friend, especially a friend who offered you nothing material or otherwise in return for the favor.

   You basically have to explain how you've "walked the walk"...without actually being able to stand in front of them and do it (since you're "stuck" online).


Feb 6, 2013 5:57pm

I vote for not listing your income. Take off the "casual sex" as that looks sleazy and gross.

Take out the cliched parts of your profile saying you're chill and laid back. Every guy in CA thinks he's chill and laidback and that's suppose to get chicks flocking to them. Yeah. Pfffffttt.

Maybe you're short but a lot of guys have that issue and they still manage to find someone. Look for girls who are shorter than you by 5 inches or something. You'll seem tall in comparison.

As for the LA thing, LA is vast and there's lot of different people, but that's still going to be difficult to find someone because the decent people are overshadowed by the delusional coked out attention wh0res. Still, you might be more likely to find a girl in the Valley than ones that live in LA proper.


@professor712 you've missed the mark about women about being bombarded with messages. I live in LA and even though I just recently came back from taking a break from okcupid, I never was bombarded by emails at all. i would get maybe 1 every 3  or 4 days, and usually from someone who's out of shape and completely repulsive. I have seen a lot of profiles fat girls on diva goddess mode make unreasonable demands and yet, I'm willing to bet that they get messaged probably 50x more than I do. Also, I have checked out some profiles of the so called "hot chicks" in LA- they all look the same and they probably get messaged 50000x more than I do. I don't fall under the ugly category and yet I'm treated as if I am ugly. Still, I didn't come onto the site often so I guess I hardly ever showed up in searches. I had guys who responded to my emails and then disappear after they scrutinized my profile with a fine tooth comb and then disappear all of a sudden mid communication.

The point is, online dating is really random and people now are just flaky and it's a lot easier to act upon flakiness online than in person.


Feb 7, 2013 5:37am

Okay first off...ignore the the how tall you are bullshit. Any girl worth your time isn't going to care. Anyone that gives you shit about that tell them to fuck off. You're not here to please them. You're here for you. Doesn't matter where you're from, girls respond to guys that aren't chumps. If you are congruent with what you say you'll be fine.

I'll take a look at your page and get back to you later.


Feb 7, 2013 9:19am

Thanks Winter Lightning. Looking forward to your critique.


Feb 7, 2013 12:56pm

Your self-summary says "I'm really just looking for good company and new friends. Nothing more or less," but your "I'm looking for" section says you're looking for people to date.  Which is it?


Feb 7, 2013 1:43pm

Don't take the advice of someone who is in the same exact position as yourself. Especially not when it's someone like WL.


Feb 7, 2013 2:27pm

pompomberet, the point is not about whether all women get hit with zillions of messages or not, but being at your best, so you can be noticed. The OP's issue was simply blending in with many of the guys online especially in the LA area. Sticking out in a good way was what I wanted him to do. This would benefit him by giving him more of a chance to be noticed when someone reads his profile.

I live just outside of LA and actually succeeded at getting dates for myself, others, women, and even guys who never got a date in real life in 10 years get one online within 48 hours of me helping them. That has been typical of me for the past 5 years. 

Online dating isn't random. It is no different than real life dating with a computer in-between. You say more to strangers upfront than you do in real life dating before you actually meet them. And, you have a media, friends and others talk about it creating stereotypes that would also exist in real life dating if people actually talked about those like they do online. Sadly, those stereotypes damage online dating rather than do something productive and they prevent people from taking good risks online thinking situations are worse then they actually are.

Honestly, do people only meet flakes online or do they meet them also in real life dating too? You act like flakes only happen online when they happen everywhere. 


Feb 7, 2013 4:01pm

@khb17 well, I say that I'm just looking for friends, but I also mention I'd be happy to find dating options as well if we hit it off. I pretty much list everything in terms of what I'm looking for besides casual sex. But that's more just a means to be on more people's list/radar. I think what I state in my profile corresponds with what I list in what I'm looking for. 


Feb 7, 2013 4:18pm

^ I agree that you're giving kind of a confusing message there; I suspect that women who are looking for dates will get to the bit where you say you're looking for friends, and move on to the next profile, so it might be good to clarify there that you are looking for dates, not just buddies.


Feb 7, 2013 4:21pm

Noted. I'll make what I'm looking for less ambiguous. Thanks girls.



Feb 8, 2013 12:23pm

I don't fall under the ugly category and yet I'm treated as if I am ugly.

    You're not ugly (you look oddly healthy), but simply odd looking (Ugly Betty much?). Also, you're just seem so ruthlessly individualistic, in an anti-authoritarian way; almost too logical, like listening to another guy talk. The gut reaction, at least on my part, is something like "she's damn admirable, but so planned out, business-centric, and non-spontaneous it's almost asexual". 

i would get maybe 1 every 3  or 4 days, and usually from someone who's out of shape and completely repulsive.

   Odd...I've never seen that correlation, I've gotten about an even number from normal (average to slightly chubby) and obese women, even back when I had a pic up.  I will say though, and even among those who I've merely looked at, okcupid tends to attract indoorsy, out of shape people of both sexes. 

   What I have a lot of profiles that virtually mirror each other in writing style...supposedly 'bot profiles made by the okcupid staff.  The style is almost always filled with lists of factual knowledge and bragging about degrees, books, quirky poetic lines...with very little spontaneity, almost like writing a college essay and trying far too hard to sound professional.   It's like the same big-bang-theory spin-off type person wrote half the profiles on here...and they try to keep a "dating for geeks and obese" image around here on purpose.  This problem repeats itself on the OPs profile.

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