Jul 21, 2010 12:29pm

Let us get some definitions going first;

femme- the submissive one in the relationship

pillow princess- one who likes to recieve but does not give


I was at a les bar talking with some fellow butches and we were all coming to the conclusion that it is rare that you find a femme girl that likes to give as much as she likes to recieve. This may just be a result of the butch-femme dichotomy because I know a lot of butch girls who strictly like to give.. I think this is giving femme girls the wrong impression lol


Jul 21, 2010 3:27pm

I've slept with girls that were hesitant to reciprocate.  After I give, some of them have asked what I want.  That doesn't bother me.  I think maybe since they run across some "butch" girls that don't like to receive at all, they assume all don't, which is obviously false.  You need to correct them if they assume it.  If they don't want to give then your sexual wants are incompatible.


Jul 21, 2010 3:39pm

My policy tends to lean towards: If you want to receive, you better be prepared to give afterwords.


Jul 21, 2010 4:22pm

I dont know


Jul 21, 2010 4:39pm

stone butch = butch who does not like to have her genitals touched

stone femme = trans woman



Jul 21, 2010 7:09pm




Give what, if I might ask?








Jul 21, 2010 7:48pm

I've never been with a woman, but OMG I would love to be the giver. Giving is so much fun


Jul 22, 2010 8:21am

Femme on the streets, butch between the sheets... maybe it's a Melbourne thing?


dgbdc: Give what... well, what does one fag give another? An orgasm, just like the dykes. :)


Jul 22, 2010 7:44pm

^^^ oh jeez, how old are you again?


i have the same policy kitty. luckily the new girl i am seeing likes both equally like me


Jul 22, 2010 9:59pm


"oh no, uhhh, where are you going?!"


Jul 22, 2010 11:08pm

I wanna get more blowjobs than I give.

Is that so wrong?

I do 69's too but it's nice to just lie back and relax.


Jul 23, 2010 5:06am

But if you are the one having the good time ALL the time, your partner could get frustrated because they'd feel left out. Likewise, if they are the one that receives all the fun, you're going to get pissed off eventually.


Jul 23, 2010 5:39pm

So, I consider myself pretty knowledgeable about the different subspecies of queer, and I've certainly heard the term stone butch before, but I've never really understood exactly why so many butches dislike having their genitals touched. Maybe the reason isn't the same for all butches, but -- is it generally to do with discomfort over the fact of having female genitalia at all, or what? I'm genuinely curious.


Jul 23, 2010 5:46pm

I always thought femme just meant they had traditionally feminine features and/or mannerisms. I mean, I've heard the term "femme top" used to mean traditionally feminine-looking girls who are the dominant ones in their relationship(s).


Jul 23, 2010 6:39pm

Stone Butch

Stone Femme


Even Wikipedia barely knows anything >_>


Jul 23, 2010 6:45pm

Lol, I'm pretty femme, and when I fuck people, I make sure that they know it. :D


Jul 24, 2010 2:11pm

OIJ, i think most stone butches are really about their masculinity so they are probably a bit unconfortable with having female genitalia. And though they feel no urge to change it, they probably just want to avoid acknowledging their genitals all together. ill have to ask a friend about that.

and i think the term pillow princess took over for stone femme, those girls who are strictly bottoms. but not all femmes are bottoms. there are femme aggressives who date other femmes and like to be the top/dominant one. femme just means you are the submissive one in the traditional butch-femme dichotomy. it really depends on the person, because a girl may dress like a guy but still consider herself femme because she likes to be the submissive one in the relationship.

but on the other hand there are some butches who like to be the submissive one in the relationship. when two butches date one has to be submissive


Jul 25, 2010 6:55am

femme- the submissive one in the relationship

@SoCalSinger you didn't just say that! 

I don'r know if lesbians are really that stereotypical in the US... The most couples I hang out here with are femme+femme and no one gets to be top or bottom on a daily basis

Femme on the streets, butch between the sheets... maybe it's a Melbourne thing?

I like that ;)


Jul 25, 2010 8:47am

I thought butch/femme was more about appearance (masculine/feminine) and top/bottom was more about roles in a relationship (active/passive). And I definitely think there are feminine people who take on the more active role in a relationship.


Jul 28, 2010 5:14pm

I <3 giving.

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