Jan 10, 2013 8:55am

Hello Okcupid,
I have been using this site for quite some time and have learned how to use the site. However, I have had very little success in getting to know people.

First, I am unsure if my profile is the best it can be. I have reviewed and edited my profile multiple times, but I feel that an outside critique will help.

Second, I have sent messages to many girls in attempts to open conversation, with a 1:7 ratio of responses. Considering that most responses say no, I am not having much success at all.
I wish to know how to compose a thoughtful message that will get me a positive response and not only open a conversation, but also continue on into a relationship.

Please help.


Jan 10, 2013 10:07am

What kind of messages are you sending?

I think you might do better to focus on starting a conversation rather than a relationship with your first message; a lot of people feel like their first message has to be relationship-oriented, but that can come across as heavy-handed and awkward, and it can be hard to respond to. Keeping it light and chatty is often a better tactic, as it's much less effort and less pressure to respond to a quick jokey one-liner than to a serious email; at your age I would think that's especially true!


Jan 10, 2013 1:46pm

1:7 isn't bad, even if it's just to say No.

Just don't get discouraged. Online dating, at last for most men, results in lots and lots of rejection. Consider it like playing the lottery or trying to get struck my lightning


Jan 10, 2013 6:37pm

"I enjoy console and PC video games quite a lot, FPS's, RPG's, Indie's and a few MMO's. I don't really play many games anymore due to university, therefore I only play a select few games when I get the time to"


Please delete this


Jan 11, 2013 12:34pm

Thanks, I appreciate profile suggestions.


Jan 11, 2013 2:31pm

Put a photo with a smile! It is the first point of contact for any potential victim, er partner.

My self-summary 

"I am a shy intellectual who is trying to find their potential.............." A bit wordy, and 'too much information.' Cut it down a little, you want to waken interest, not send 'em to sleep!

I'm quiet and thoughtful, always friendly, and honest. Looking to find my partner as we make our way in the World.

What I’m doing with my life

Studying IT at York Uni, and looking for work to support myself. That's enough the rest is shooting yourself in the foot.

How many young women do you know who want to play Tank Commanders on a Friday night?I think many more will be out dancing...... Delete all that.

I’m really good at

Enjoying life, and using and maintaining computers.

The first things people usually notice about me

Sparkling eyes. Sweet smile. Agile movement. SELL yourself to a woman, do not share a joke with your brother.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Start with Liam Neeson, and then any Romcom stuff you can think of. She wants a happy, weepy ending, not the end of civilisation as we know it.

The six things I could never do without

Think girly! 'phone to talk to you' 'toothbrush' etc

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Make her smile - this is "borrowed" but gives you a clue: "Why the chicken crossed the road. Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open? Why yawning is contagious."

On a typical Friday night I am

How many young women do you know who want to play Tank Commanders on a Friday night? I think many more will be out dancing...... Delete all that.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit 

Think Girly again "I had a crush on ........... when we were 7years old."

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–19
  • To walk off in to the sunset with

You should message me if

Over to you...............


Jan 11, 2013 8:29pm

^ PLEASE don't put "girly" stuff in your The six things I could never do without section... unless, of course, you're looking to become someone's bitch. It's usually best to skip this section (leave the lists of stupid crap to the ladies), IMO.

The ONLY place you should be coming across as a girl is in your The most private thing I’m willing to admit section, as tucking your junk and making out like a pansy is exactly what this section gives you permission to do.

Tl;dr: Pointless lists are for the girls; self deprecating admissions are for the gents.


Jan 12, 2013 7:10am

^^ You should post that suggestion in the worst profile ever thread.


Jan 12, 2013 3:05pm

I am suggesting that you shpuld try thinking about what your target audience is looking for, not that you should come across as a Ladyboy. LOL


Jan 14, 2013 8:08am

crea he is shitty enough on his own without benefit of your horrid advice

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