Mar 30, 2013 3:23pm

How much emphasis do YOU put on it, especially you non-vers tops and bottoms? 

How soon is too soon to discuss who puts what where? How long do YOU wait to discuss this topic if you're aiming to invest in someone? Does the discussion itself pervert and extinguish an otherwise strong connection?




Mar 30, 2013 6:42pm

I'll generally tell guys almost immediately that I'm not topping for them.  There are like maybe 0.5% of guys who maintain themselves well enough for me to be even the least bit interested in that.

Girls, we feel it out, and whether I top for them generally depends on what kind of sex we're having.  Gentle "lovemaking" sex, I'll consider topping once in a while.  Rough fucking, I can't handle it.  Too sensitive.  Much rather use a strap-on.


Apr 1, 2013 2:30pm

Makes me thankful I'm not bi. I need things to be linear in that department. I don't know how people master the art of screwing both genders. 

I must sound horribly inflexible. 


Apr 1, 2013 10:45pm

It's harder the queerer you are.  That's why people give up and just say they're queer.  Instead of having labels you just wind up saying "I like you...  let's fuck.  We'll work out how."


Apr 2, 2013 7:38am

My feelings on the matter are pretty much the same as Daisha's.
Like... if I were with a guy, I'd consider topping him, but he'd have to be like... really really good looking in a specific way for me to consider it.

As I am, I'm all for coitus with a girl, and less enthusiastic about pegging, but when I transition, I imagine that I'd lose a bit of interest in the former, and gain some in the latter.


It's like... as a guy, I'm pretty dang close to behaving like a pure heterosexual male... but when I become a girl, I imagine I'd become more of a bottom.


Oh wait... that's not exactly what this thread is about...
Um, I guess... since my primary (and sole, really) method of meeting potential romantic interests is on this site, I actually inform people by just leaving the information in my profile. I feel like since it's not specifically directed at anyone, it doesn't have the same weird suggestiveness of telling someone in particular how I like to fuck, but it's still very straightforward so that there's no confusion.

I don't know how I'd handle it outside of this site though...


Apr 2, 2013 2:36pm

 "I like you...  let's fuck.  We'll work out how."


That's a really positive approach to the situation and actually illuminates my real problem: my default is disappointment. Basically, "I've arbitrarily decided I don't like you and we're incompatible" until I'm given reason to feel otherwise. Instead of, "I don't know you and I don't know if we're compatible." < That makes more sense from every angle, but somehow over the years I've developed a cloud of ultra-negative expectations to cast over everyone. As a surprising result, I'm actually no less interested in getting to know someone or less likely to invest in them .. I think I just prefer to start off anticipating the worst so that, most of the time, when I get to know the person, not only am I surprised to learn that we ARE sexually compatible, but even thrilled if we're compatible in other ways.

It's like having -$500 in an account and getting a check for $1500 instead of starting at $0 and getting a check for $1000. (....I'm really not conveying this as clearly as I'd hoped) That's it -- done!


Apr 17, 2013 2:35am

I'm a bottom/nice with girls that earn/deserve it...if they don't and are too stupid, slutty, or unworthy I'll dominate them/fuck them with a strap on and then tell them to get out....that probably makes me a bad person...though 98% of women wouldn't even get the invite for the latter...they might be attractive but that's not all I look for...I'm sure that sounds terrible but I've been screwed over more than once so now I'm just horribly picky


Apr 17, 2013 2:43am

I suppose if I found the right dinosaur I'd consider letting my penis sodomize them.


Apr 17, 2013 2:31pm

if they don't and are too stupid, slutty, or unworthy I'll dominate them/fuck them with a strap on and then tell them to get out


though 98% of women wouldn't even get the invite for the latter

Okay.  =(


Apr 18, 2013 11:08am

I have honestly never had this problem, but I'm pretty damn sexually flexible.  Generally speaking, if they're into it, I'll probably do it (with a few exceptions, of course; no scat, no golden showers and no blood).  So far, that's worked out, so if it ain't broke, don't fix it.


Apr 18, 2013 11:27am

no golden showers

fucking casual


Apr 18, 2013 1:33pm

Now, my ex-wife wanted to do golden showers at one point.  She actually wanted me to tie her up, throw her in the bath tub and pee on her.  If I had done that, I never would have been able to have ever had sex with her again!


.......which might have actually worked out better for me.  I should have done it.  Damn!

Post a comment