May 12, 2013 6:37pm

Tear it to shreds...  I would not characterize my experience on OKC as successful.  After about a year I've accumulated a total of 9 "rated you highly" points, but I have not had anywhere near 9 women want to chat or get to know me better :(   Yes, I'm sending clever and profile-specific messages to reasonable matches, and a handful of women have messaged me first, but it rarely progresses beyond one or two exchanges.  So maybe I'm just a lousy conversationalist.  But let's start with my profile.

I acknowledge that my photos are pretty bad.  We can't all be photogenic.  I suppose I could enlist the help of a skilled photographer, but that just seems like I'm trying too hard.


May 12, 2013 7:02pm

Oh, and I'm completely aware that those 9 "rated you highly" points could have been accidental stray mouse-clicks...


May 12, 2013 7:55pm

I'm heading to bed, will have a look tomorrow, but in the meantime there's some general advice on profiles here, and on first messages here, which may be helpful.


May 13, 2013 2:57am

Almost all of your answers to the questions do nothing but explain why you're not going to answer the question (or why the question is stupid and can't possibly flatter anybody, or why you're too good for the question, this site, and all of online dating).  Don't do that.  Not only are you wasting a chance to say something interesting about yourself, you're also insulting everyone who thinks this can be a good medium to get to know people (i.e., women who like online dating and are good at it, i.e., your target audience).

It's not that you don't have a point sometimes.  It really is stupid when people fill out the "favorite books, movies, etc." section with mile-long lists of books, movies, etc., and it really is more interesting to talk about why you like each one.  So just do that - pick one or two favorite books, and say a sentence or two about why you like them.  Sure, you can talk about it more over coffee, but you have to get to the coffee date first, and that's what your profile's for.

The questions aren't meant to be taken literally.  "The first things people notice about me" really means "what do you think people notice about you?" or "what do you want people to notice about you?"  The "six things I could never do without" means "what are six things that you wouldn't want to do without, and that give a glimpse of your personality or lifestyle?"

In general, if your answer to a question doesn't say anything unique or interesting about you, then your answer sucks.  If you can't figure out how to answer a question in a way that doesn't suck, leave it blank.

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