Should OkCupid add trans identities options?



Jul 11, 2014 7:06am

Would it not be so much easier if apart of your profile listed: trans woman or trans man as an identity option? That way you can also choose interested in only "____" or "_____" so if you don't or do want to see trans people you have that option and trans people get to be recognized for who they are.


Jul 11, 2014 1:32pm

I'll say it once more.  To do so would cause an immediate barrage of harassment to these individuals.  Either by those who do not approve who want to make their opinion known or by tranny chasers who have insincere motives.  It would cause exploitation on this site.  Furthermore, straight individuals will screen these people out immediately causing inevitable isolation.  

Also, I thought it was part of LGBT dogma that a transsexual is the gender of their choice and therefore labeling someone a transsexual is unnecessary.  A mtf is a female and a ftm is a male, end of story.  To label oneself a transsexual, mtf, or some other term is to make them a "Third Gender" which in my view is psychologically ostracizing oneself. Are transsexuals a "Third Gender" or the gender of their choice?  Can't be both.  These people need to make up their minds. 




Jul 12, 2014 8:07am

Wow, empirestv007, you are really oversimplifying. Identity is a really individual thing. "These people" don't all feel the same way about it. Some DO identify with a third gender, and some DON'T. I personally want to be identified simply as female. Other people feel erased when you do that. Nobody's asking to "be both". We've all made up our minds, but I'm afraid there's no regulatory authority determining that we all have to make up our minds the same way! Get used to it.  :-D

But since it would be up to the individual whether to select that label, what's the big deal? It's not different than when a trans person chooses to discuss it in their profile, or not. Just more convenient and searchable/filterable. Let individuals have the choice.

"LGBT dogma"? Pphphpht. Is that like "heterosexual dogma"?  :-D


Jul 12, 2014 8:29am

Although I think this would be tricky to get right, in a way that works for everybody, and I'd have some reservations about it. Expressed well in some comments on this other thread,, though you have to filter past the a-holes to find them.  :-(


Jul 12, 2014 9:33am

your_cup_of_T: If identity is an individual thing does it not therefore defeat the purpose of putting groups of people into categories?  Just put a reference to it in the profile description and then use one's individuality to discuss it. 

Identifying as a third gender is socially constructed and has nothing to do with the biological sex.  In addition, the third gender is not recognized as a "thing" in the culture.  People are willing to overlook this whole transsexual thing if there is conformity to go from one gender to the other.  Not so much with someone who goes back and forth, creates a new category for themselves, and demands recognition for whenever they decide to change their category.  Facebook has like a dozen different categories that all describe transsexual. 

Now, I am not saying there aren't people that think they're a third gender.  I am saying its a dumb idea because it causes unnecessary social isolation. And you do get people that want multiple categories like transsexual, queer, gay, and yet give the social impression they're heterosexual females after their transition.  This is about people obsessing over the past and for those who still can't figure out who they want to be in society. 

The big deal is that people (do-gooders) are suggesting a website policy change that will cause inevitable social isolation and harassment. The "do-gooders" need to really think about the consequences of what they're suggesting. Personally, I don't really care.  It's not my problem. 



Jul 12, 2014 9:39am

You need to stop making judgments about the validity of other people's experience. Also, you are extrapolating way too much from what YOU are "willing to overlook ", to what "people" think about the issue -- you seem to know what's in everybody's head! Mind-reading must be cool. But I've got news for you. Your attitudes are not shared by everybody! There should be room for a diversity of experience in this world.

And for somebody who doesn't really care, you've sure got a lot to say about it!


Jul 12, 2014 1:59pm

your_cup_of_T: What I care about is intellectual honesty, which is absent in this thread.  You say other people have these experiences but give no validity to them. Do their experiences have any logical or rational understanding to you?  It seems not or otherwise you would have put up a better defense.  I am not ignorant that people have "experiences." But those experiences that lack logic and reasons are open to criticism especially when these same people ask people like me to accept them without question. 



Jul 12, 2014 2:22pm

Wow. All I can say is to quote Ronald Reagan (not normally one of my favorite people to quote): "Heh, there you go again!"  :-D


Jul 12, 2014 3:49pm

Safe to say the LGTB theories are intellectually bankrupt protected only by the fact no one questions them due to the threat of being called bigoted.  If these theories were put to the test in the open they would fall as they have here. 

Or do you have anything more to say than "my feelings says its true therefore it is true."



Jul 12, 2014 9:57pm

You're projecting: that's what YOU are saying. You haven't even read anything I've written. You actually have zero experience being transgender, yet you believe you know all about it. That's not evidence. I happen to have a lot of experience with it, and I know what I'm talking about. It is pointless to debate further with somebody who is just reciting a monologue and loving the sound of his own voice. You will continue to go along believing that you have it all figured out. Enjoy!


Jul 12, 2014 10:28pm

your_cup_of_T: Your experience is your own and no one elses.  This LGBT dogma that all are this way or that way is obviously false.  And a person's experience and the life choices they make due to those experiences can be critiqued.  There was a thread some time ago where an obvious man identified as female without any transitioning at all.  Some of us critiqued this as the obvious intellectual fraud that it was. 

For some time I identified as a Polish American because Polish was the plurality of my ancestry.  Recent family genealogy has proven that my Polish blood is equal to that of my German.  Therefore I do not identify as Polish American anymore.  I identify with this or that based off the facts of reality.  When someone identifies with A or B because they "feel" that way it deserves critique.  

Also, putting half pictures on your profile and then baiting me to flag them is not clever. 



Nov 18, 2014 5:29pm

Just some trivia. The code is actually there for both several identity choices and several orientation choices. If you look into the javascript source code, you find this(*):

"5":"Cis Man","4":"Bigender","7":"Genderfluid",
"6":"Cis Woman","1":"Man","14":"Pangender","0":"Woman",
"2":"Agender","17":"Trans Man","10":"Hijra","11":"Intersex",
"12":"Non-binary","21":"Two Spirit","13":"Other",
"9":"Gender Nonconforming","20":"Trans Woman",



I would believe that you could actually set these settings with some hacking, however they would probably not be shown or not be shown for all (correctly).

(*) Actually it depends on your account if you have this in your code or not. OkCupid sends different sets of JavaScript-Code to different users, probably depending on account age and user status and this might be included or it might not. Another reason why this probably would not work even if hacked.



Nov 18, 2014 5:59pm

Oh, it is not only on the code, but also available in the account - for some. My sock puppet account has this, while my regular account hasn't:

And when choosing a non-binary option, it also adds "Include me in" where I can select "searches for women" and "searches for man".

Also if I set these options, they are actually shown to other accounts, in my regular account the labels show up.

So one must wonder why this feature is not available to anybody.


Nov 18, 2014 6:16pm

It appears that it is rolled out to users in waves, see also

One can actually hack that feature to add it to the own account, though.


Nov 24, 2014 9:34am

im a man and have no interest in there being a trans option


Nov 24, 2014 10:16pm

^ I suppose some people do.  Still, I've seen some people recently with descriptions that are so bizarre that I'm not sure what they are, besides cornfusing.


Nov 29, 2014 9:31am

im 100% male, i may not be 100% male bodied but that doesnt mean im not 100% 1/2 way there....getting bottom surgery next year....i have XY chromosomes....see a lot of pics of guys sporting "100% trans"  good for them but i cant 100% getting sick of the trans ID the further i get into my transition

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