Apr 21, 2009 6:11pm

Uneducated gentlemen, are you intimidated by college-educated women? Do you shy away from their profiles?

Educated ladies, are you willing to date uneducated men if they're not otherwise losers? Do you shy away from their profiles?

Full disclosure: I'm one of those uneducated gentlemen. It would be wrong to say I'm intimidated by educated women--it's more like I just don't think they'd be interested. I'm on a good career path in spite of my lack, but I still tend to shy away from their profiles. I dunno.

Apr 21, 2009 6:15pm

I'm self educated. That's the best way to go imo.

Apr 21, 2009 6:20pm

I'm a sixth year going on seventh year (loooong story) senior so I'm not technically "college educated" just yet, but for me it has much more to do with if the guy wants to learn, period. I guess at my age I've never really thought about it, but I'd take a college dropout with a passion and curiosity about the world over a guy with the diploma but just went through the motions and doesn't care about ideas.

Apr 21, 2009 6:24pm

Poor bill gates no wonder he couldn't find anyone for so long, should've graduated from Stanford while he had the chance.

Apr 21, 2009 6:24pm

I'm on the fence. On the one hand, if you're in college you could have similar interests and experiences that only someone else who attended college would have. On the other hand, I've dated lazy college boys and very ambitious non-educated men. Ambition is sexy, and you don't need a degree to have it~~

Apr 21, 2009 6:34pm

I have a masters degree and personally, I do shy away from profiles if the guy hasn't even received a bachelors degree. I have a few reasons for why I do this. One is that, like most people, I am looking for someone who shares similar life experiences. It's important to me that I can discuss my years in college and grad school with a guy who has had the same educational goals as I have. It gives us more in common and more of a foundation to build a relationship on. Another reason I prefer educated men is that I come from an educated family. Ideally, I could find a man whose family encouraged education as well. Again, more in common, more to share. I have a good bit of bias toward education, knowledge, self-improvement. The effort someone spends in college shows me their drive, their willingness to be taught, their curiosity, their desire for a career. I'll have to admit, though it's nothing personal toward the man's status as a 'nice guy', I don't want either him or me to be resentful of the other should a relationship form. I've seen relationships where this can become a big issue if one partner is highly educated and one is more self-made. Besides all that, education can often mean better paying jobs. In this economy, if a couple wants a family, both have to work to even get by. Sometimes it does come down to money, but personally, I just want someone who thinks more like me and values the same things I do. Like WickedSugoi said, ambition is very important. I've seen my share of lazy college guys too, but at my level, it's a bit past that. Anyone going as far as their PHD or grad school is a little more to me than just a frat boy sailing on his father's paycheck.

Apr 21, 2009 6:51pm

a diploma didn't make me perfect, a degree didn't make me street smart & my career do not make me compassionate to people. so i don't care if i meet a friend who cannot talk about economy or politics because i'm sure we can always find something to discuss. if we need to talk about the weather, his childhood and his misadventures to while away our time, i don't care. there's always something to learn in every person, whether they graduated college or not (in fact, i kinda find college grads too self-absorbed and arrogant sometimes).

Apr 21, 2009 7:35pm

Well, diplomas don't make someone perfect, but they show accomplishment. I don't think they're something to sneeze at. You cannot teach compassion or friendship. Those are instilled by the parents, and some people seem to struggle with them even if they were taught. Going to college does help people learn friendship, though. It exposes people to a variety of cultures, races, religions and walks of life. It gives social exposure many young people don't get even in their hometowns. Some of my best friends I've met in college. So, a person who has been to college has gotten more than just a piece of paper. It depends on the person if the graduate is self-absorbed or arrogant. If they learn from the people around them as much as they learn from the assignments themselves, they can learn social skills and how to treat others as well as just politics and economics. Learning is definitely the right word to use. I'd have to agree that you CAN learn something from everyone. The topic gave me the impression it was about dating someone besides just learning from them, though. The places a man goes and the environments he wants to be in tell me just as much about him as his favorite things. So, I get the impression that if he's in college for five or more years, either he's a lazy burden on society, or he's got the desire to learn and be educated. Again, it's all about the individual.

Apr 21, 2009 7:57pm

There are so many facets of life that develop the mind and character. There are so many strong minds and dynamic personalities among people of all backgrounds. To place so much importance on this one thing seems rather narrow.

Apr 21, 2009 8:18pm

Ah, you're right StrangelyClever, it's all about the individual. As far as this thread is concerned, I think the OP mentioned "shying away" from profiles of college-educated women. To me, it is a little bit of an issue knowing for a fact that being intimidated or any level of shyness doesn't benefit men of any age and any walk of life; be it for dating purposes or friendship or in pursuit of any relationship and career. Educated women are not always snobbish and not all of them avoid uneducated men. Although some of them would never really consider marrying "un"educated men, there's still no (social) law that bars "un"educated men from pursuing college grad women. As some of the forummers mentioned, ambition and potential to succeed are very important so there's really no reason for them ("un"educated men) to "shy away" from profiles of educated women. i would give the same advice to anyone pursuing a good career or pursuing a life-long dream - who cares how difficult the road looks like, just go for it and see where it leads.

about the college grads et al being arrogant and self-absorbed (sometimes), i guess i got that impression from my ex-bosses! LOL!

ps. @SClever - our first messages were posted at about the same time.


Apr 21, 2009 8:28pm

To clarify: "shy away" was probably not a good term to use. In my case, hesitation does not stem from trepidation when considering contacting an educated woman. "Shrug and toddle off" might have been more apt.

By the way: excellent and thoughtful responses, all of you. I've really enjoyed reading them.

Apr 21, 2009 9:39pm

I am a proud college dropout. I got my AA. I attended a university as part of their film program. And I realized how much smarter and more talented I was than the other students and even the professors. It was a step back. I got my AA at a community college (with honors!) and was learning less at a University, and by professors who couldn't teach me a single new thing. It hasn't been easy at all, and I've had little "success" since then in regards to what I am attempting, but I feel good about what I have accomplished. Hell, I'm doing better than the guys I know who actually graduated from film school. Go figure, huh? Difference is I have passion to learn and improve, and the drive to improve my talent and skills. Most people in college go because they feel it's mandated, and have no real desire to learn. I am self-taught and self-educated because I love to do it. Schooling should be no basis for a relationship, as all it means is that you guys have the same boring experience to troll to each other about when you are stuck at home after a long day working at your boring jobs that you both hate, discussing what you wish you could be doing if you were retired.

Apr 21, 2009 10:39pm

Marvose, I'm glad you posted this topic, actually. It definitely gave me an idea on what some people's perspectives on formal education are too - at least from those who replied to this thread. It sounds like some people have just had bad experiences where formal education is concerned. I admit, I had a rotten time at my undergrad college. Some of the profs were pompous and unapproachable, and I felt they weren't teaching me what I needed to know. This is why I went to graduate school and I will never regret that decision. - Rufio, I'm wondering if you polled people to get your information or if you just projected your own opinions onto the entire college student population. It sounds as though you had a bad experience and assumed that it means all formal education is crap. Perhaps some students feel it's mandated, but I would assume those students, without the desire or the drive, never end up finishing the programs they are forced into by their parents. Self education is wonderful, but there's nothing wrong with going to someone who knows the information you wish to learn and getting them to teach it to you, is there? I wouldn't want a person who droned his way through college bored out of his skull just because his parents taught him to, but at the same time, there's no shame in being educated. There's also no shame in having certain requirements for those you date. I suppose the pride comes more from being a self-motivated, nonconformist than a college dropout. - I wouldn't think education should be the entire basis for any relationship. But it does show me what kinds of things a guy pursues in life and what method he uses for achieving his goals. - An interesting comment made by Charlene earlier in the thread mentioned some college graduates being self-absorbed and arrogant. I could say that for those who think they are too educated for college. After all, there are a good many colleges in this country to base all of your opinions about education on one. - Here's something I might add. If a man went as far as medical school or to get his doctorate in a subject, I highly doubt he'd be pursuing a career he would hate. Something tells me he'd be very intent upon doing something he loved for the rest of his life. He'd be willing to spend the time, swallow his pride, take direction, and apply his knowledge to reach that goal. For most, the 'mandate' stops after undergrad. - Just so we're clear here, there's nothing wrong with being self-educated, but it is wrong when you make disparaging comments about those who choose to be formally educated as well.

Apr 21, 2009 11:04pm

The American education system, particularly Universities, are a business, first and foremost. They are paid, by taxpayers and by those who attend, in exchange for a piece of paper that sells, ultimately, an empty promise. "Formal Education" is a way of saying mass production, assembly line education. Regardless of the University, the same piece of paper is given out to all those who fulfill the bare minimum requirements. Ultimately, there is no difference officially by a man or woman who got a C in Med School, and someone who got straight-A's.
My main gripe with the concept of "college-educated" vs "uneducated" is the notion that people who do not attend or graduate college are somehow "uneducated" or lower in value somehow. Not everyone needs to attend a university. What about a talented artist or writer who has a High School (or not even that) education who is very successful? There are simply "careers" that do not mandate a "formal education". Yet, in spite of this, if such a successful person were to come along, they'd be, in essence seen as somehow lower than a douche with a piece of paper from Clown College.

Apr 21, 2009 11:35pm

"you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin' education you coulda gotten for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library."

one can learn anywhere. a classroom is not a necessary part of the education equation.

Apr 21, 2009 11:46pm

^my sentiments exactly. I forgot where I read it, but someone once wrote a piece that described how much better our society and education system would be if we were allowed to simply study on our own, pursue and focus on our particular field of interest, and then apply/test for a certificate that proves we met a strictly regulated, high set of requirements to do what we want to do. Not a degree from X University. A certification program. These tend to be a lot better at churning out higher qualified recipients than a degree program from a University. They're more demanding and set the bar higher for all, yet also streamline the process without wasting more time and money (all those mandatory classes that make you "well rounded"--those are BS classes meant to pad things out to keep you there longer and shell out more money). Educate yourself (because, in the end, that's what a University class is--read the book, regurgitate to a professor, repeat), take a big-ass test, and prove your worth by showing you can apply what you learned rather than regurgitating facts, numbers, and dates that meet a professor's arbitrary standards.

Apr 21, 2009 11:46pm

Fortunately, I've earned a masters degree in life. I have a meaty bone for any bitch who thinks she's more educated than me. Excluding my mother and aunties and such, of course.

Apr 22, 2009 3:52am

Regarding those disparaging college: is it just sour grapes?

(Note to everyone: inserting <<b>br/>, exactly like that, will insert a return character. Two will make a blank line like the one above this note.)

Apr 22, 2009 4:07am

Oops, my brilliant note to everyone is broken. Use "br/", only replace the quotes with angle brackets (lesser than/greater than signs: < >)

Apr 22, 2009 4:19am

A college education is an indication of intellectual curiosity to me, hence I tend to avoid any profile that doesn't have at least a B.S./B.A. I'm aware that there are certainly very bright people who didn't go to college as well as close-minded dogmatics who did, so I try to keep an open mind about it. But I do use it as an indicator, along with the language used, that might show there's someone bright behind that profile.

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