How long would you have to talk to someone online before you felt comfortable to meet?



Jul 23, 2008 6:31pm

I would probably want a couple of weeks.


Jul 23, 2008 6:43pm

Anytime, if they're nearby,

and there's ANYTHING redeeming

about them (which is almost no one)


Jul 23, 2008 7:46pm

It depends, basically.  Generally speaking, I don't want to meet the vast majority of people I speak to online, but on the rare occasions where I do, it's usually someone I get along with extremely well, very quickly.


Jul 23, 2008 11:36pm

Depends on the person. Some people that I talk to I would never be willing to meet. Others, I'd probably be willing to meet fairly quickly, but only in a public place where there are people around who know me.


Jul 24, 2008 12:21am

what Thogar said :D


as for public places,

i wouldn't meet someone i wouldn't trust


Jul 24, 2008 3:34am

Time isn't the main thing with me. Depends on the person. I've known some people online for ages but don't want to meet them in person (not because I don't like them, just because I don't feel the need to meet them)... Some people I just want to meet anyway. Very few though.


Jul 24, 2008 3:42am

A few weeks at the very least, if not longer. Also, they must show a real interest and effort in getting to know me. Meeting at a public place is a must.


Jul 24, 2008 3:56am

A few days... maybe a week or two. I'd hate pushing it back too far because you end up forming opinions about them online, often times inaccurately because people are just different in real life than online, and you make assumptions and expectations that are often false or unrealistic.

Bottom line: You don't truly know a person until you know them in real life.


Jul 24, 2008 4:17am

I prefer at least 2 weeks.... but sometimes I get pushed to meet sooner and go with the flow.


Jul 24, 2008 10:37am


Bottom line: You don't truly know a person until you know them in real life.

I disagree. This doesn't apply to everybody, especially people whp have social/communication problems which play a huge part in how they behave in person. People who get to know me properly online do know me, much more than people I meet first IRL


Jul 24, 2008 11:53am

I've met some folk less than a day after initially contacting them for a casual (let's go see a movie that we'd both enjoy) -type of thing.


Aug 12, 2008 11:17am

i don't think i have much to fear from anyone i've ever met online, but, since i probably seem pretty dangerous, it's usually best to wait till they seem comfortable.


Jan 5, 2009 8:18pm

I want to meet them in a couple of weeks because I want to be comfortable meeting them. But a lot of guys who talk to me via OkCupid think it cool to do within 2 days to 2 weeks. Is that cool?

Mar 4, 2009 9:19pm

I usually wait no more than 3 weeks from the exchange. If we can't progess to the point were we've exchanged numbers or made plans to meet then I feel like I'm wasting me time and move on. After all the whole point is to find someone to date, right? If you wait any longer you wind up with an internet penpal. That may be ok for some people but thats not what I'm here for. A think a week or 2 should be ok. 1 week if you talk everyday.

Mar 4, 2009 9:50pm

I'm with ever_forever. Even when someone's honest with their pic, you never know if there's chemistry until you actually meet. Plus my BS detector is much better in person than over IM.

@aisasami - 2 days seems a little fast, though once I was bored and met up with a guy the same night. It didn't go well - he was too nervous. Sweet kid. I don't think you should be concerned about a guy wanting to meet after a week. DO worry if he tries to tell you that you're wrong to want to take more time. Decent guys know that women take a much greater risk than men when agreeing to meet.

Mar 4, 2009 9:59pm

I'll meet for coffee after one message if you're in my town. No strings, no expectations, just as if I met you there without meeting you here first.

Someone from another state or island, though? It would take many e-mails, phone calls, and chats or whatever before I considered traveling.

But if you happen to be coming here, sure, let's meet. In fact, any of you out there who are ever on the Big Island, definitely drop me a line. It doesn't have to be about dating, so you don't even have to be female. Odds are good I can make your stay more fun.


Mar 7, 2009 4:39pm

Meeting for coffee with no strings or expectations is a good idea... made the mistake of an expensive first date after only chatting for a night or two a while back. Next time I would definitely like to chat for at least a couple of weeks first

Mar 7, 2009 5:17pm

When I met my ex off of OkCupid a few years ago, we had talked and then spoken on the phone for about 3 weeks before we met, at a very public place. So I'd say about 2-4 weeks. I've had guys ask me to meet after one or two brief conversations, which is flattering, but I spent a great part of my formative years reading scary true-crime stuff, so I prefer to wait a bit and make sure no "shit, this guy could be a serial-killer" bells are ringing in my head!

Mar 7, 2009 5:30pm

Whatever that dude's name was that said you don't no anyone until you meet, I concur. I believe half the shit I read online and an nth of a percent of what dating profiles say... or their pictures for that matter. I'm not going to know if we are going to mesh until said meshing has been attempted. But I'm talking from a guy's point of view. If I were a woman, I may feel differently. I would also sit when I pee.

Mar 7, 2009 5:34pm

I met up with someone on here the day after I first gave them an IM, most of which was spent picking a location and time. She was awesome.

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