Dec 19, 2012 10:06am

despite living in the county all my life I've rarely spent time in Cambridge. if anything more of my adult life meeting various academics, researchers, in many fields- no matter how the meeting goes, usually just a date and a fuck- even if it was good, I will hate myself vengefully for days, for being such a talentless under achieving shit!

this depression has been riding high, and I've been tring my best not to fall for it, lately.

but that's it! I really fucking hate myself- the few people that I get around to meeting make me hate myself more than if I were I left alone.



Dec 19, 2012 10:11am

buy a vibrator and get over yourself.


Dec 19, 2012 10:20am

yeah if it was about sex then your comment would be useful

it's immature and insecure I know, but when you're feeling . . . never mind

and I already have a vibrator, and yeah bc that orgasm lasts forever? and takes all the self loathing away, and replaces it with being a worthwhile human being? I don't think so


Dec 19, 2012 10:21am

Getting over yourself must be equally as difficult as getting under yourself.

I don't spend much time in Cambridge either. How is it we haven't bumped into each other in Boston? Wanna meet in the Common, and have a quick fuck so you can hate yourself for weeks, if not years after?


p.s. our glorious 0% Match still gets me hot and aroused.


Dec 19, 2012 10:24am

u got 0 with everyone


Dec 19, 2012 10:26am

nope. Just with you. I even get 10% with the No-Profile members.


Dec 19, 2012 11:18am

I'll get over it

but if some shit round here is stupid enough to think that sex or drugs lasts, LMFAO!

those things are momentary mental anaesthesia


Dec 19, 2012 2:56pm

So ... you're fine with rainy days and Mondays.


Dec 19, 2012 3:15pm

hanging around, some kind of lonely clown


Dec 19, 2012 5:41pm


Dec 19, 2012 6:52pm

mental illness / holiday cheer 


Dec 19, 2012 7:36pm


Dec 19, 2012 7:37pm

13th post for 2013


Dec 19, 2012 8:15pm

i know the feeling.

the few people i draw to myself are all intellectual over-achievers. i guess i should feel good about that, since it probably reflects positively on my own intelligence, but i hate how much of a failure i feel.

though it's unrelated, i wish i could go back and fix things in my life, but some things are such unfixable. 

anywho, yes, i know the feeling.


Dec 20, 2012 1:37am

I don't know the steps in order, but please at least set acceptance as a target. You can work out the next step once you're there.


Dec 20, 2012 2:52am

self acceptance is a tricky thing


Dec 20, 2012 3:36am

You might find this helpful 

Towards the end there's a self-hypnotic visualization process worth at least listening to

and the information before that is also interesting,
especially around 38 minutes in.


Dec 20, 2012 7:17am

cheers, just getting into books on CBT, and Mind over mood stuff.

I'll see you around, gonna disable for awhile

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