Jun 22, 2008 6:32pm

If you've met an OKCupid user in real life, how strongly does your getting along with them correlate with the compatibility % OKCupid gives you?

I know there are tons of variables that make this hard to answer, including the effect of physical appearance, the type of relationship you're looking for, and the uncertainty about what a given % score actually predicts (that you will be together for X years? that your level of desire for this person will peak at point Y? that you will rate the goodness of your real-life relationship with this person as Z out of 10?), but you may have noticed some general patterns.

So what are your experiences? Have you ever found that someone who is very compatible with you in real life has a low match % with you on here?


Jun 22, 2008 6:40pm

I've found that anyone about 88% or higher tends to truly mesh with me pretty well. Anything lower than that and it's totally hit-or-miss.


Jun 23, 2008 6:21am

Four years ago, I was in the best relationship of my life. She broke it off. I was semi-crushed, but we've been able to remain good friends. She has a profile on OKCupid. We're an 88 percent match.

Which on the one hand suggests to me that the match percentage is a really good compatibility indicator, but on the other hand makes me wonder whether anything less than 88 percent can work out. Talk about a mindfuck.


Jun 23, 2008 8:19am

It's a load of crap. I know several people in real life that have a high match percentage with me. I wouldn't date any of them.


Jun 23, 2008 9:15am

Everyone I've dated from her for more than a month or two has fallen into my 70-85% range. For some reason, the guys higher than 85% just aren't attractive to me, no matter how well we get along. And I don't mean that purely physically; one of them in particular was definitely good-looking, but I had no desire to kiss him or mount him or anything in between.

There have been failures in that same range, but I've never had a success fall outside that range.


Jun 23, 2008 9:18am

I've hung out with a few people that I met from OkC and one sticks out particularly. I don't recall the exact match percentages, but they were fairly high and I have to say, we did not click at all, even after a few days hanging out. I view the whole matching system as hit or miss at best. Most of the questions concentrate on things and beliefs which, while important, do not necessarily capture the chemistry which may result between two people. There have also been people with low percentages that I've gotten along well with. Part of the problem for me is that 90% of the questions I just don't care about.


Jun 23, 2008 9:29am

The only person I have met from OkC was someone with whom I was already acquainted. His match percentages were only around 65%, but we did a comparison of our answers, and there actually was very little disagreement. We both took some of the user tests and had matching scores. So I am not sure that high percentages matches are an indicator of compatibility. If one has a particular hobby or interest, doing a keyword search on it is helpful.

I skipped many of the questions, since they really do not apply to someone over 45.


Jun 23, 2008 12:29pm

Match % is telling, but you can't be stupid about it.

I look at dating persona, enemy %, how they write, age, all sorts of things.

I've built some cool relationships with people I match well, but I've also seen high match numbers with people whom I know I would not be able to stand. But you have to start somewhere. 

Invariably, I find people with > 35% enemy to be ones I would not care to have to get to know at dinner. Nor are they likely to like me.


Jun 23, 2008 1:00pm

My best friend whom I've known for nearly ten years is a 67%/23%/24% to me. I've messaged several people with whom I had higher than an 80% match percentage and not really clicked with more than a few of them (and then only on a friendly level). I've exchanged messages with people in the 50%-69% range and had far better luck in regards to getting replies and carrying on conversations for any length of time.


I'm sort of suspect about the results.


Jun 23, 2008 5:25pm

I haven't really been here for very long, but I wonder what forumla they're using for compatability. I mean, numbers and percentages are all find and dandy, but for many of the questions I can see where my answer would either sit between two of the given choices. It makes it difficult sometimes to accurately answer them. Also, I don't know how well it takes into account the various variables in a person. I mean, nothing in any sort of relationship is black and white, and as a species our minds are constantly changing as we learn and experience new things. Could the percentages act as a guide? Sure, but I know I don't put too much stock into them. I find that a well-written profile will sway me more than a set of numbers from a random set of questions. If I was able, I'd love to see how the tests work and see if empirically, they're as accurate as they're advertised to be. I'd love to see what would happen if the test was tested like a standardized psycological test.


Jun 23, 2008 5:58pm

Yeah. I see them as an interesting point but

don't always find rapport with those who answer

similarly. Hell, I probably don't answer the same

to the vast majority of the questions. I did them

whilst in a hell of a depression, and now I'm riding

a pretty decent high.


Jun 24, 2008 4:42pm

Well, what's funny is this.  If I do a closeish to home search my number one match is in fact my partner.


In the top 10 are like 7 people I live with here at the commune- ( or lived with since I moved to a different commune)


I'd say we're pretty compatible personality wise if not necessarily attracted to one another..


Lastly, one night I checked out my profile and two other women who are "like me" are women that I know from living at Twin Oaks. 


Maybe it is a cult or we're all pod people but don't really know it...


Jun 24, 2008 4:59pm


I've found that anyone about 88% or higher tends to truly mesh with me pretty well. Anything lower than that and it's totally hit-or-miss.


No wonder I can't find anyone I get along with.

Hell, I'm lucky to break 70.


Jun 24, 2008 5:20pm

i find that i get along best with those who match  me in the 60-70%.  i've talked with some who were higher matches, and while they were interesting people, nothing really sparked.  its hard to tell though, since i agree with calandale about my answers to the questions i've done  - the answers i gave when i did them months ago are not necessarily the answers i'd give today.


Jun 24, 2008 5:54pm

I suspect different people answer the questions and set importance in very different ways. As a consequence, there may be a great difference in compatibility for you with two people for both of whom you have the exact same match percentage on OkC!

That makes sense, right?


Jun 24, 2008 5:57pm

Actually, I looked at males who seemed

most similar to me, according to other people's

messages, and was shocked to see how little they

seemed akin.


Jun 25, 2008 8:52am

My match % with bisexual women as a group trends significantly higher than with other women, to the point that I'm genuinely surprised when I run across a bi woman who ISN'T a good match.

But I guess there are bi republicans out there. One or two, off in the log cabin.

I used to think that all my best matches were bi, then I loosened up my search criteria and found a woman in Richmond who matches me 93%. She's gay. Seems awesome from her profile. We should totally hang out and pick up girls together.


Jun 25, 2008 9:27am

I think a little enemy % gives you something to talk about, makes it all a little more fun.


Jun 25, 2008 9:57am

my boyfriend and i are 72% i've dated anywhere from 61-85%, and i think somewhere in between is best for me. (like 72%)

Jun 25, 2008 10:02am

i concur 70s are the best for the most part.

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