Dec 30, 2012 12:26pm

OK well yesterday i had a bottle of wine and posted this in the help section, lol so here we go husband and i have been married for 11 yrs and we have a great marriage.... We have been exploring the idea of bringing another female into the picture, group sex isnt new to us as we've shared girls in the past....i'm bisexual so its more for me than him, he would like me to have someone I can click with and do girl stuff with also because he travels quite a bit for business..... where do we start.....


Jan 1, 2013 2:53pm

wow. Nothing here eh?

Ya might need to consider a different dating site entirely. DAF is your last shot here like I said. But they might say the same thing.

And people have pronounced this forum "dead". So this might be a waste of time.

There's always Craigslist or Backpage..........


Jan 1, 2013 3:02pm

We have been exploring the idea of bringing another female into the picture, group sex isnt new to us as we've shared girls in the past....i'm bisexual so its more for me than him,

Hope you don't mind me saying this, but you sound a little indefinite about exactly what this extra woman would be doing in your relationship - which is to say that having a more concrete idea of what it is you're expecting might help you in actually finding what you're looking for.

Would this person be a definite part of your relationship, maybe live with you? Or would this be someone who would just be a part-time entertainment for you, when your husband is traveling? Etc.

You don't need to answer me here in this thread; these are just some of the questions that came to my mind when I read your original post.

If you figure out more definitely what you want, at least, to start out with, and put that in your profile, you'll probably have better luck.



Jan 1, 2013 8:45pm

Revamped my profile a little, were looking for someone to join us in our relationship.... Im looking for someone to fulfill my bi nature..... Pretty much poly lol.....thanks for the help though.... and to be honest craigslist seems to be full of creepers and strange people in my area lol..still searching though....


Jan 1, 2013 10:01pm

CL is a cesspool, and you have absolutely nothing to go on w/ people there, they could all be serial killers and you wouldn't have the foggiest until you see the glint of a flashing blade out of the corner of your eye...


OK. Well that was a little dramatic. But you get the point. :P

  • fetlife
  • polymatchmaker
  • adult friendfinder

I'm not personally endorsing any of those (especially friendfinder), but just some ideas. I don't keep up with those options very much.





Jan 1, 2013 11:12pm

Five bucks a month isn't bad, I might try that polymatchmaker site. I'd never heard of it before, what do you think of it sfguy? Any better than the others?


Jan 1, 2013 11:16pm


The main problem with niche sites in general is that they don't typically have enough users to support a high-quality operation. Which is one reason why a lot of poly people are here rather than there.

But I don't think I ever created a profile over there. It's on my mental shortlist of things to do some day.



Jan 5, 2013 6:57am

unicorns are not hunted, they are only stumbled upon


Jan 13, 2013 7:35pm

OP: You may want to consider the language you are using. You mention "its more for me than him" and "Im looking for someone to fulfill my bi nature." (emphasis added) You risk turning off potential partners by emphasizing what they can do for you. Most people are wanting something mutual and will want to know what they might get out of a relationship with you. Likewise, most people don't want to be seen as a object. Also, it's not clear what level of involvement you are looking for. That's very important to be clear about. Have you thought about what "much more" might look like? Wild sex? A possible group marriage? "friends with benefits? Romance with long term commitment? That's going to matter.


Jan 13, 2013 7:37pm

I saw on the main forum page this thread title and posted by Merry927 and I got excited for a minute.


Jan 13, 2013 7:58pm

Well, it looks like that was 32 minutes ago, so did I miss my chance to bask in your excitement? *hugs* ;-)


Jan 13, 2013 8:10pm

Baby, you can bask in my excitement any time you want.  Holla.


Jan 14, 2013 4:09pm

Building off Merry927's response...

What you are describing is generally called 'unicorn hunting', couples looking for bi girls to add to their existing relationship.  While plenty of people have stable triads, they generally do not start like this.. creating some role that you want another person to fill.  As quietaphobe points out, finding such people is usually a case of stumbling into someone and making a connection, not going out and trying to find someone who is going to like both of you and be willing to live under whatever conditions the 'real' couple imagines for them.

As for sites to find someone.  To be honest, OKC is kinda the best of breed when it comes to online dating at least.  There are plenty of poly people on here, though most follow a more 'mesh' style where individuals are free to date each other rather then coming as a package.


Jan 16, 2013 12:07pm

I do have to admit OK Cupid has a better selection than other sites weve been on..... and were having a lot of luck on fetlife too.... When I say "its" im not referring to anyone as an object as I dont view potential partners or anyone for that matter as an object because i wouldnt be happy if someone did it to me and sorry for any emphasis on my post.... a lot of things are still new to us and to be honest were kinda getting back into dating but as a couple this time....Weve had a lot of luck though in the past couple days and thanks everyone for the input, any advice is welcomed.... Hugs everyone :)



Jan 18, 2013 12:49am

When it comes to unicorns, you may be able to improve your luck by throwing gems at them but you should keep in mind that the results will be dependent on their alignment.


Jan 18, 2013 10:48am

Hey, nethack reference.  Congratulatory e-blowjob.


Jan 20, 2013 2:02am

I was a unicorn for a married couple... Here's a bit of generic perspective...

It's hard to get to know two people at once.  I started dating him, and eventually fell in love with her also.  Before her, I never considered myself bisexual-- and at 50-- I didn't think I'd like sex with a woman.  

Meanwhile, the couple is only getting to know one person... and they've got a partner to chat about that partner with (Where was she born?, I forgot..)

Are there any meetup groups with an emphasis on alternative lifestyles?  or even find a meetup as a chance to meet people.  The activity keeps it from feeling like a date.

The Bon Vivant Social Club of Tampa is a great meet up for polydating.  There may be a similar meet up groups near you..



Post a comment