Aug 11, 2009 1:23pm

Just wondering if there are any men out there that are open minded enough to date a girl such as myself. A lot of people can't wrap their mind around the fact that there is a difference between being gay and transgender! I'm not gay and I'm not looking to date gay men! :) No offense to my gays, I love them to death.


I date open minded straight men that are willing to try somenthing new. Well if you want to express your feelings on this go ahead!! Don't be rude! :)





Aug 11, 2009 1:28pm

I think you're insane to not be interested in dating gay men.  Gay men are the best.*

That said...  I always feel so goddamned bad for trans girls who wind up straight.  Men are dicks, cis men especially.  :'P

Also, you're hot, so everyone should be tripping over themselves to court you, anyway.  Damned young transitioners...  (Why am I always more jealous of trans girls than cis girls?  Oh well.)

* I'm joking.  I totally get it.  But not being eligible to date rockmymundo is the only truly regrettable part of having transitioned.


Aug 11, 2009 3:16pm

I do have someone she might like to talk with though, I have a friend of sorts who frequents a chat room for support. She is dealing with the same deal (Though she is Post Op - 7 months I think)

If you want, I can pvt you the info, and join the wonderful world of support...


Aug 11, 2009 3:20pm

if u want straight men why would u post this in a gay forum


Aug 11, 2009 3:22pm

Agree with Phantomz.


Aug 11, 2009 3:23pm

My sentiments exactly.

You may want to try posting in the Sexuality Forum--?


Aug 11, 2009 3:31pm

Well, this IS a LGBTQ forum, and this is a T issue (or would that be E)

But posting in the other may generate some useful responses...

Sadly, too many straight men equate Transsexual as Gay. Someone needs to get out there and EDUCATE them!


Aug 11, 2009 3:36pm

good luck finding a straight guy whose "open minded" enough if ure pre op


Aug 11, 2009 3:58pm

Even though I am called a troll here I am always trying to help people.  I will say that it's hard enough to find open minded people.  I am one of the few.  I will openly admit to having a couple online friends I talk to that are transgender (the vast majority of them are real females).  It does not bother me at all.  As far as dating goes to be honest I never reached that stage with anyone yet so I can't comment.  I have made several friends though which has been working out for me and I like it.  I think I will remain friends and leave dating out of the picture.  I hope this helps you.



Aug 11, 2009 4:09pm

real females

I guarantee you have never spoken personally with a real transgender woman.



Aug 11, 2009 4:21pm

Apologies what I meant was real females.... not transgender in the parenthesis.  I was trying to say I have more female than transgender friends.  I am btw running on 3 hours of sleep.



Aug 11, 2009 4:25pm

Yes, and what I'm saying is that if you're drawing a distinction between transgender women and "real females", you don't have any transgender women in your life who consider you anything other than a nuisance and an asshole.


Aug 11, 2009 4:29pm

Well, being a fierce wordsmith, I'm wondering if "male" and "female" are words that strictly refer to chromosomes by definition.  Does it also refer to anyone that is feminine in form?  That's where I'm getting stuck: on the definition of the word.  Because I thought "female" was a word that refers to the physiological.

I do see how that would matter a lot to a m2f transgendered person, wanting to fully embody everything that is "female".  I mean, can a m2f be "female"?  Or is it more proper to use words such as "girl", "woman", or "lady", "trans female" instead? 

I mean, are definitions changing?  Or are m2f transgendered people wanting everyone to ignore the definition?  Because I know definitions do change over time, but I just looked it up and it's still the old chromosomal definition in the dictionary I referenced.  I mean, obviously the word "female" is something that m2f people desire to be called.  But it's a word that refers to chromosomes, right?

I know most people resent anything remotely heteronormative in this forum, but this is an important question in terms of communicating the proper terms to everyone, especially heterosexuals (if they'll ever get/accept it...IDK).


Aug 11, 2009 4:31pm

I agree with daisha.


Aug 11, 2009 4:34pm

Argh now I am conufsed? I mean real females as in the ones born that way.  Someone like the singer Maria Brink of In This Moment.  Or Vicky-T (Victoria Asher) of Cobra Starship band.  That is where I am making the distinction. 



Aug 11, 2009 4:35pm

Well if you want to express your feelings on this go ahead!! Don't be rude! :)

I wish you well on your new journey, be well,smart ,safe and enjoy hetero men.

I was wondering,... are you open mindede enough in return and are willing to date a hetero trans man as well?


Aug 11, 2009 4:55pm

if your going to call it m2f then you can't argue they are not female harvey

also you're being a dick


Aug 11, 2009 5:10pm

@pcspeceric: We WERE born female, with a birth defect... Which many of us will correct like you would a cleft lip.

I'm sick and tired of people not seeing us as "real" girls, just cause we were born different. You wouldn't call a "colored" girl (be it hispanic, african american, asian, native american) not a "real" girl would you? If you dared to do that, you would be hunted down, stuffed on a pike, and roasted over hot embers, IF you were lucky...


Aug 11, 2009 5:15pm


Aug 11, 2009 5:16pm

Whatever, Nik. I'm clearly not being a dick at all in any way whatsoever and it's preposterous and incorrect for anyone to suggest or even feel that I am.  Is it an uncomfortable topic?  Sure.  However, I didn't open it.  I noticed it and wished to resolve it.  I politely expressed an honest issue that, oh, 95% of people in the world are unsure of, which makes sense for it to be asked about.  Asking a question and showing my thoughts on it =/= I'm being a dick.

And I was expecting someone to say "if you're going to say 'm2f'...", but really I'm just trying to adopt the terminology, as is obvious.  Me saying "m2f" clearly shows that I'm not trying to be a dick, but instead making an effort to use the choice terms even if they don't make sense to me at the moment.  It also serves to be an example of the contradiction of the term in this context.

Obviously, it's a head/heart issue.  My heart wants to comply readily, but my head wants to understand.  Check yo'self, dude.

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