31Dayton, United States
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My self-summary
This section is impossible to do right, so let's just throw out some descriptors:

What I’m doing with my life
I'm living the millennial life, working four part-time jobs (adjunct professor, Latin teacher, translator, and substitute) to keep a roof over my cats' heads! At least I'm getting to work in my field; I try to remind myself how lucky I am to do that. I still want to open a tardigrade farm.

When not trying to pay bills, I love to learn new things and try new hobbies. Things I have done / want to do:

learn ALL the dead languages
cross stitch

I want to publish academically on Late Antiquity / medievalia. I also want to write a series of medieval-fantasy parodic erotic novels.
I’m really good at
Random things. I'm excellent at translating Latin and good at crocheting. I'm currently learning / relearning / preparing to dive into: calculus, Ancient Greek, Anglo-Saxon, ukelele, whittling, and knitting. I will try to learn something on the flimsiest of pretexts, including if you message me and say, "Do this!"

Also, I can drive stick.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've heard it's my eyes, but perhaps you'd like to tell me over a bottle of cabernet.
(j/k, ironic smarm)

But seriously, I have pretty eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Science fiction, Tolkien, Robert Heinlein, Harlan Ellison, Hunter S. Thompson, George R.R. Martin, Neil Gaiman, The Watchmen. And stuff in / about dead languages.

(EDIT: The internet has helped me realize that, much to my chagrin, these all fall under the category of "written by old / dead / white dudes." If you have any recommendations, please let me know! I'm always eager to learn more.)

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Office Space, The Fifth Element, Mad Max: Fury Road, Guardians of the Galaxy. Special mention for The Name of the Rose, which features Sean Connery as a 13th century crime-solving monk.

TV: Bob's Burgers, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Rick and Morty

Music: of Montreal, MGMT, Tom Waits, Regina Spektor, Gorillaz, Florence + the Machine, Amanda Fucking Palmer, The Blow, FreezePop, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Food: Pizza, Rice, Beans, Pesto, Pita, Hummus. Whatever I can stuff in a crock pot. Vinegar. Seriously, I LOVE vinegar.
Six things I could never do without
There's a lot I could do without, but I will say that I love the internet, adore books, need friends, crave affection, and would fight a unicorn for strong coffee.

And kitties!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Crafting, cartoons, video games, sex, languages, friends, money, my own white privilege, Valentina hot sauce, whether I can snooze another fifteen minutes...
On a typical Friday night I am
figuring out what to do, since I actually have Friday nights free now.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...I don't find George Carlin very funny.
You should message me if
... you want to help protest 45. I've got an idea that involves crocheting an amigurumi fetus and mailing it to a certain Vice President.

... you'd be down for a coffee-shop-knitting date.

... you prefer Tesla over Edison.

... you are Amanda Fucking Palmer.

... you know of awesome places to check out in and around Cincinnati, Dayton, or Columbus.
The two of us