30 Dayton, United States
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My self-summary
This section is impossible to do right, so let's just throw out some descriptors:

What I’m doing with my life
I quit the job that made me sad, queasy, and angry, and I got hired as an online Latin teacher! I get to teach what I love, and since it's online and part time, I can continue subbing, which I also love! Things are looking up professionally :) I also do voice-over work and Latin translation on the side, and might just forget about all that and open a tardigrade farm.

When not trying to pay bills, I love to learn new things and try new hobbies. Things I have done / want to do:

learn ALL the dead languages

I want to publish academically on Late Antiquity / medievalia. I also want to write a series of medieval-fantasy parodic erotic novels.
I’m really good at
Random things. I'm excellent at translating Latin and good at crocheting. I'm currently learning / relearning / preparing to dive into: calculus, Ancient Greek, Anglo-Saxon, ukelele, whittling, and knitting. I will try to learn something on the flimsiest of pretexts, including if you message me and say, "Do this!"

Also, I can drive stick.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've heard that it's my eyes, but I imagine it's the necklace of ears that I wear, harvested from my fallen adversaries.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Science fiction, Tolkien, Robert Heinlein, Harlan Ellison, Hunter S. Thompson, George R.R. Martin, Neil Gaiman, The Watchmen. And stuff in / about dead languages.

(EDIT: The internet has helped me realize that, much to my chagrin, these all fall under the category of "written by old / dead / white dudes." If you have any recommendations, please let me know! I'm always eager to learn more.)

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Office Space, The Fifth Element, Mad Max: Fury Road, Guardians of the Galaxy. Special mention for The Name of the Rose, which features Sean Connery as a 13th century crime-solving monk.

TV: Bob's Burgers, Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Rick and Morty

Music: of Montreal, MGMT, Tom Waits, Regina Spektor, Gorillaz, Florence + the Machine, Amanda Fucking Palmer, The Blow, FreezePop, Red Hot Chili Peppers

Food: Pizza, Rice, Beans, Pesto, Pita, Hummus. Whatever I can stuff in a crock pot. Vinegar. Seriously, I LOVE vinegar.
Lately I've been obsessed with microwave scrambled eggs. Bachelor life!
The six things I could never do without
There's a lot I could do without, but I will say that I love the internet, adore books, need friends, crave affection, and would murder a unicorn for strong coffee.

And kitties!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Crafting, cartoons, video games, sex, languages, friends, money, my own white privilege, Valentina hot sauce, whether I can snooze another fifteen minutes...
On a typical Friday night I am
figuring out what to do, since I actually have Friday nights free now.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
...I don't find George Carlin very funny.
You should message me if
... you want to Pokemon Go (I know that sounds suspiciously like "Pokemon and chill," but I'm serious. I NEED a Gyarados.)

... the idea of staying in, drinking beers, working on hobbies / crafts, and watching cartoons with someone else sounds appealing.

... you can correctly answer the following question: Tesla or Edison?

... you know of / are intrigued by the Tumblr blog "Boys with Beards with Cats."

... you are Amanda Fucking Palmer.

... you know of awesome places to check out in and around Cincinnati, Dayton, or Columbus.