-Sandy
57 Vancouver, Canada
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-Sandy
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My self-summary
The surprise, of course, was to find myself at this age: still whole, still healthy - and still alive. The fact is that I hadn't made plans for that eventuality. Luckily, I've accidentally had several successful careers - and successfully learned to live relatively simply, with a small carbon foot-print. I've also found a career which incorporates intellectual stimulation, enjoyable physical work - and sufficient chaos to satisfy my appetite for constant challenge.

On top of that, my interests: photography, book stores, movies, hiking, gardening, naturalization.

After many years of trying (really!) to be monogamous, I've come to accept that it's likely that non-monogamy is a state of being that a lot of people share with me - whether they're "serial monogamists", "occasional cheaters" or "temporary singles" .

I've been lucky enough to have developed a happy relationship with someone who feels the same; and has felt the same since we first met as casual lovers. Surprisingly - and although we both resisted - we fell from like, to lust, to love - and to a committed long-term relationship. And all while respecting the fact that we were capable of commitment to others - as well as to each other.

Seeking a "relationship" is not my main focus. A relationship is a long-term accretion based on much trust and much shared experience: it's the prize we get for treating one another well. Similarly, I'm not looking for conquests, recreational sex or a harem. Short form: I'm probably not "Mr. Right"; and not "Mr. Right Now".

I'm looking for someone who enjoys the infinite possibilities presented by the phrase "it's complicated" - and is looking for an emotionally trusting, mutually supportive, honest and committed relationship.
What I’m doing with my life
Working too hard - when I work.
Committing large tranches of time to community and social volunteer work.
Prepping the garden for spring.
I’m really good at
Applied Physics
Pattern Recognition
Reading people - individually and in crowds
The first things people usually notice about me
Quietude
A wicked smile
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors (current)
waiting on Hilary Mantel, with bated breath; Marlon James; Craig Thompson

Authors (not-so-current)
Burroughs, Walter Rodney, Self (Will, not My)

Authors on the pile
Jeannette Winterson,

Graphic
Winsor McCay, Tezuka, Tatsumi, Delisle, Shiceru Mizuki

Movies (never seen a bad one by)
Federico Fellini(!), Sally Potter, Akira Kurosawa, Wim Wenders, Werner Herzog

Better-Than-Movies
Portal: "Are you still there?"

Music
Yes. Everything from Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan to George Jones - with a strong streak of Lucinda Williams and Amelia Curran

Food
I love the restaurant experience as well as cooking, baking, buying and growing food. Mushroom hunting is a particular addiction.
The six things I could never do without
Gravity
Howling Wolf
Chuang Tzu
Photography
A warm duvet
A good frying pan
A habit of pushing limits
I spend a lot of time thinking about
books, movies, music, food, art, politics
On a typical Friday night I am
working or talking about books, movies, music, food, art, and politics
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm extremely attuned to the secret discourse in social relations: the micro-aggressions; the attempts to push and establish boundaries; the "common sense" that masks class and racial privilege. I'm also quite capable in describing them when I see them.

"If you have any enterprise before you, try it in your old clothes. All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. Perhaps we should never procure a new suit, however ragged or dirty the old, until we have so conducted, so enterprised or sailed in some way, that we feel like new men in the old, and that to retain it would be like keeping new wine in old bottles. Our moulting season, like that of the fowls, must be a crisis in our lives. The loon retires to solitary ponds to spend it. Thus also the snake casts its slough, and the caterpillar its wormy coat, by an internal industry and expansion; for clothes are but our outmost cuticle and mortal coil. Otherwise we shall be found sailing under false colors, and be inevitably cashiered at last by our own opinion, as well as that of mankind." - Henry David Thoreau
You should message me if
you got this far.
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