-Sandy
57 Vancouver, Canada
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-Sandy
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My self-summary
The surprise, of course, was to find myself at this age: still whole, still healthy - and still alive. The fact is that I hadn't made plans for that eventuality. Luckily, I've accidentally had several successful careers - and successfully learned to live relatively simply, with a small carbon foot-print. I've also found a career which incorporates intellectual stimulation, enjoyable physical work - and sufficient chaos to satisfy my appetite for constant challenge.

On top of that, my interests: photography, book stores, movies, hiking, gardening, naturalization.

After many years of trying (really!) to be monogamous, I've come to accept that it's likely that non-monogamy is a state of being that a lot of people share with me - whether they're "serial monogamists", "occasional cheaters" or "temporary singles" .

I've been lucky enough to have developed a happy relationship with someone who feels the same; and has felt the same since we first met as casual lovers. Surprisingly - and although we both resisted - we fell from like, to lust, to love - and to a committed long-term relationship. And all while respecting the fact that we were capable of commitment to others - as well as to each other.

Seeking a "relationship" is not my main focus. A relationship is a long-term accretion based on much trust and much shared experience: it's the prize we get for treating one another well. Similarly, I'm not looking for conquests, recreational sex or a harem. Short form: I'm probably not "Mr. Right"; and not "Mr. Right Now".

I'm looking for someone who enjoys the infinite possibilities presented by the phrase "it's complicated" - and is looking for an emotionally trusting, mutually supportive, honest and committed relationship.
What I’m doing with my life
Working too hard - when I work.
Committing large tranches of time to community and social volunteer work.
Prepping the garden for spring.
I’m really good at
Applied Physics
Pattern Recognition
Reading people - individually and in crowds
The first things people usually notice about me
Quietude
A wicked smile
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors (current)
waiting on Hilary Mantel, with bated breath; Marlon James; Craig Thompson

Authors (not-so-current)
Burroughs, Walter Rodney, Self (Will, not My)

Authors on the pile
Jeannette Winterson,

Graphic
Winsor McCay, Tezuka, Tatsumi, Delisle, Shiceru Mizuki

Movies (never seen a bad one by)
Federico Fellini(!), Sally Potter, Akira Kurosawa, Wim Wenders, Werner Herzog

Better-Than-Movies
Portal: "Are you still there?"

Music
Yes. Everything from Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan to George Jones - with a strong streak of Lucinda Williams and Amelia Curran

Food
I love the restaurant experience as well as cooking, baking, buying and growing food. Mushroom hunting is a particular addiction.
The six things I could never do without
Gravity
Howling Wolf
Chuang Tzu
Photography
A warm duvet
A good frying pan
A habit of pushing limits
I spend a lot of time thinking about
books, movies, music, food, art, politics
On a typical Friday night I am
working or talking about books, movies, music, food, art, and politics
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"It’s important to recognize that the Relationship Escalator is a matter of choice as well as social convention. It’s rare (at least in modern Western culture) that people are forced to jump on it and stay on it. At each step of the Escalator, the people involved are making conscious and subconscious choices. When you’re riding the Escalator it may feel like you’re being carried along — but in reality, everyone is taking the stairs.

Each of us is responsible for the types of relationships we have. Social conventions and pressures do strongly influence which relationship models are easier or yield more social privilege and validation. While some people remain unaware of off-Escalator relationship models, the internet is certainly helping to change that.

But regardless of which type of relationship you choose for yourself, if you also choose to ignore, ridicule, or vilify non-escalator relationship alternatives, the consequences of that choice extend far beyond your own life. How much awareness and respect you accord other relationship choices ultimately affects everyone who might consider, or perhaps truly need, a relationship that’s somehow off the Escalator.

A big part of curbing the tyranny of the Escalator is simply to acknowledge that it exists, that it is a matter of choice, and that there are other valid choices. Ultimately substance, not structure, should be what determines the success or value of any intimate relationship."

"Riding The Relationship Escalator - Or Not" by aggiesez
http://solopoly.net/2012/11/29/riding-the-relationship-escalator-or-not/
You should message me if
you are aware that the search for spiritual growth; authenticity; and/or exculpation for being born into a relatively privileged class, caste, and race is somewhat obviated by the burning of massive amounts of jet fuel to achieve your ends.
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