32San Francisco, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Hi, I'm Joe: descendant of ape-like creatures in the distant past, potential ancestor of human-like creatures in the distant future, hurtling unceasingly and unflinchingly around the sun at a completely incomprehensible 66,610 miles per hour. What's that? So are you? We have so much in common already!
What I’m doing with my life
Ideally, I'd like to die* after doing or helping to do one of (in no particular order)...
1. Invent a revolutionary new way to produce or store energy.
2. Work as an unpaid intern for the Daily Show.
3. Get a computer to pass the Turing Test.
4. Travel the world as part of an awesome rock band.
5. Propose a Grand Unified Theory of physics.
6. Develop the next Apple/Facebook/Google.

Unachievable, you say. Laughable. Preposterous. I agree: These are ridiculous goals. But I think they're still really interesting.

I honestly spend most my time on way less ridiculous things, like writing code (my job), concerts, hiking/backpacking, drinking Guinness, playing guitar and drums, playing video games, skiing, playing soccer, and (apparently) writing short descriptive paragraphs about myself.

* Ideally, I'd like to not die.
I’m really good at
Mario Kart.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Books by Kurt Vonnegut, the Lord of the Rings, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Sparrow, Catch 22, Predictably Irrational.

Movies: Star Wars, The Big Lebowski, Clerks, Office Space (fuckin' A, man), V for Vendetta, WALL*E, Inception... I also like weird/artsy movies such as The Royal Tennenbaums (to all you elitists who think that example's not weird or artsy enough............ I applaud your refined tastes).

TV: The Daily Show, The West Wing (but it kind of makes me sad now, given reality), Futurama, South Park, Sherlock, Arrested Development, Star Trek: The Next Generation ...

Music: Top music research scientists agree that The 5 Best Musical Artists are The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Beethoven, Cake, and Radiohead. Other wonderful bands include The Strokes, Weezer, The National ...

Food: is delicious. Except for chicken feet. The shape and texture and bone configuration of a cooked chicken foot are all wrong. It's like eating a small child's hand.

I can't emphasize this strongly enough: Never eat chicken feet.
Six things I could never do without
1. Love (is all you need! But not really, because it turns out you also need food, water, and functioning organs, among other things. It's very important to make sure your organs are always functioning, even if your love intake is satisfactory)
2. Good (funny/deep/contemplative/drunk/dirty/smart/silly/stupid) conversation
3. Learning new things
4. ??????? (It's a secret. Shhhhh)
5. A sense of humor
6. Gluten
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The recent and massive shift of political power toward tragic insanity... Let me know if you want to brainstorm ways to help fix that.

It's depressing. But I guess overall, things are still better than in most of human history. Ravenous-wolf-related deaths remain at an all-time low. So we've got that going for us, which is nice.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sometimes out, sometimes in,
Sometimes fat, sometimes thin.

(I lied just now, about my weight;
It really doesn't fluctuate.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Embarrassing Fact #43: It's well-known that what women like best is a man who has pure confidence spewing perpetually out of every orifice, but I'm in fact somewhat shy until I get to know someone.

Embarrassing Fact #326: I should have put Singin' in the Rain in my list of favorite movies.
You should message me if
You have fingernails that shine like Justice, and a voice that is dark like tinted glass.

Or: You play a musical instrument, and you want to jam after work with me (in SF or MV). Make-outs optional in this case; platonic musical friends are cool too.

Or: You think Calvin & Hobbes is just about the best thing ever.


Thank you for reading my profile. Have a great day.
The two of us