51London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
*** I think it’s time for a re-write but it’s still going to be long, so you might as well get comfortable and grab yourself a pot of tea or coffee, or some wine before you begin *** !

It is often said that we all dream of meeting the love of our lives the way it is depicted in most Hollywood movies! You know, the old fashioned ‘organic’ way, like that chance encounter at the bus stop that leads to a long and happy life together. Or finding ourselves standing next to each other in a museum or art gallery admiring the same exhibit and we start talking. Or simultaneously reaching for the same item at the deli counter of the local supermarket when our hands touch and our eyes meet! But, the Hollywood fantasy aside, the chances of actually meeting a truly compatible person that way are horrifically small, so when you think about it, doing it this way actually makes a lot of sense. We all know the qualities we want in the other person, so it's only natural that we write down exactly what we're looking for, put it out there and let the reach, power and population of the internet, do the rest. Who knows? Stranger things have been known to happen. Doesn’t this remind you of those old couples in "When Harry Met Sally"….and the way they all met, and the special bond that kept them together for all that time? If you understand them, then you'll understand what I am looking for! " The Ambassador Hotel in Chicago....Nine extra floors....". Priceless!


Or if you’re a fan of the Simpsons, you might recall Homer's chilli induced hallucination, and his quest for his soulmate. Well, I guess you could say that I'm looking for my Marge! (All other names would be acceptable too).


And to find her, I guess I could simply copy & paste just about any one of the repetitive, mass produced generic profiles found on this site. Then reel out a list of unique qualities that are meant to mark me out from the rest of the crowd, by saying things like "I like to laugh – I love life – I have friends & family – I love food – and love curling up with a DVD and glass of wine!". NOT to confuse me with other mere mortals who obviously hate life, simply love to cry, don’t have any friends or family, and love watching DVDs while standing up and sipping on a cup of tea through a straw!! And whereas a lesser man NEEDS food for their survival, my profile will make it clear that I can actually claim it as a ‘love’…something which I can take or leave, along with my other ‘loves’ of breathing, sleeping, sitting, standing, walking and talking! Put simply, we’re all supposed to love everything – and our glass is always meant to be ‘half full’! Now, tempting as that might be, I think I'll pass! And as for that poor glass, if I ever find it, I'm going to put the damn thing out of its misery once and for all by placing it in a river where it call live out the rest of its life always completely full ! Leave-The-Damn-Glass-Alone!

I mean I really do understand the pressures that are at work here…the need to exaggerate, to create a persona, to sell an image and self-promote…hence the same old tired clichéd nonsense that tries to describe us as a bag of contradictions because someone, somewhere, must once have said that being a mix of contradictions is an attractive trait. WTF ?! The endless "I am this but also that" - "I like this but I like that too" - "nights in & nights out" - "indoorsy & outdoorsy" - "roughing it but also 5 star-ing it" - "muddy boots & heels" - “Olympic athlete & loving cosy nights”. Is this a popularity contest where the winner is handed a partner as a prize? Or are we looking to find someone wonderful to have a lasting relationship with? Profiles which claim to like everything and everyone are patently designed to cast as wide a net as possible, so to speak...to have mass appeal…which is kinda understandable, given this surreal environment….but we can't all be everything to everyone. Whatever happened to "Just be yourself"? That little request pops up again and again in so many profiles, and yet those profiles are the ones in which those same people have felt the need to embellish the truth. I have gone out of my way not to describe myself as an “intelligent, fun loving, attractive, creative, sporty, successful, caring, sharing, loving, thrill seeking, music mad, food loving, book worshipping, globe-trotting, culture vulture” who can’t spell and doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, there and their, to and too, and of and off! I realise this all sounds rather harsh and critical, and I am sorry. But why pretend? To paraphrase what I read on the profile of a visitor to my page: I would rather be single, alone and happy, than end up sharing a life with someone who isn't right for me and be unhappy! Well done that woman - pity she lives on the other side of the world and is looking for someone local. So if you feel the same, and want to know who I am, what makes me tick and what I want to be when I grow up, then let's meet for a tea/coffee/hot chocolate, or Skype (if you happen to be someone on the other side of the world), and we can find out together 'cos I'd really like to know too! Because when you think about it, we have absolutely no way of knowing whether any of the stuff people write on here is actually true or not, which is why most sensible people prefer to meet in person. That conversation over a coffee or dinner will tell us more about each other than all the 'glass half full' profiles on all the dating websites in all the world! Finding love and just meeting someone normal who has no hidden agendas, shouldn’t be so difficult. But, having said all that, I have read some truly amazing profiles on here so I'm quietly optimistic that my soulmate does exist somewhere in the world, but it’s just a matter of looking. It's that needle-in-a-haystack thing though, isn't it?

Until then, these are good examples of what I am NOT looking for:


What I’m doing with my life
What everyone else is most probably doing: working too much! I'm lucky, in that I get to work from home which is great, but it leaves me very little time for anything else, which is not so great. Therefore, my current motto is: 'Live more, work less', and I'm working towards achieving that. And going through all my travel photos in the hope that one day they might appear in a gallery somewhere or, at the very least, in one of those giant coffee table books. And I also have a few books and a screenplay somewhere in me that are bursting to get out which, unless I redress that balance, I know will never see the light of day. In another life, I might have ended up as a writer!

But aside from that, and trying to save the world, and attempting to change the course of human history in some small way, I'm not doing much else. Finding new restaurants to try, taking more photos, watching as many films as I can find time for, and visiting dating websites in search of that illusive "right woman" take up a few more minutes of my day! And lately, thinking about dogs!! After a life-long fear of canines (was bitten during childhood) and much to my surprise, I recently discovered that I really really love dogs, especially small ones. I am so enamoured by them that I can hardly breath - whenever I see them now, I burst out in a fit of uncontrollable googoo gaga baby talk gibberish, which can be very embarrassing. So, if you happen to have a small cute dog, best not to bring it along to our first date because if we don't get on, I might end up taking the dog home!

I've just become the proud owner of a shiny new bike, and am rediscovering the joys of riding after many years out of the saddle, and I'm loving it. If you can ride through the streets of London, you can ride anywhere! Wanna join me? I also really want to learn to play the piano, and learn French and Spanish too. So if you are a French/Spanish speaking piano player and you don't contact me, that would not only just be a serious breach of my human rights, but also a violation of the laws of nature!
I’m really good at
Explaining highly complex subjects in terms that even your average premiership footballer or X Factor/Big Brother viewer (or international equivalent) can understand. As well as listening - writing - photography (studied subject) - grasping complicated scientific concepts - driving - 'reading' people - debating - receiving/analysing/understanding & responding to angry emails from women offended by my profile - rescuing half empty glasses - quoting lines from movies and The Simpsons...to an annoying degree... and if you can quote from either, or if your work has a scientific element to it, then we really must talk! In another life, I might have ended up as a teacher or a scientist.

I have a knack for putting people at ease right from the word go. And an uncanny ability to stay calm at all times so I'm pretty useful to have around in an emergency and at times of disaster. I am very analytical...too much according to some, but that's a criticism I can live with. Making friends, and keeping them...most of my friends today are people I went to school with!! I can, and will, talk to anyone....I'm not shy. But I'm not very good at small talk, and have very little time for ignorance and people holding onto goofy ideas....unless of course they feel like debating the subject at hand, in which case I'm your huckleberry!! I don't subscribe to the you "must" respect everyone's opinions mentality as there are many people out there with some very 'interesting' beliefs & opinions: supernatural deities, flat Earth, the Loch Ness dinosaur, ghouls & goblins, ghosts & demons, etc - however, I am always ready, happy and willing to be proven wrong in a discussion about these, and other whacky topics. I do love a good debate!

I can also mimic any accent if I put my mind to it, and will unwittingly alter my own accent to fit the company I am speaking with! Given a bit of time, I can do voices too...I do the best Yoda this side of Hollywood! In another life, I might have ended up as voice over artist! I'm pretty good at many other things too but my modesty and the limited space on here prevent me from going on, and I'd prefer to tell you in person anyway!
The first things people usually notice about me
Not necessarily in this order: My smart arse sarcastic humour, though I never offend. The fact that I talk fast but take time to choose my words carefully. Apparently my eyes as well (honestly, that is not my OWN opinion - it's just what others have said in the past). Then they stare at my face looking for lines & wrinkles when they ask how old I am. Then the fact that, for a guy, I'm a bit on the short side which, after 40 odd years, I assure you I'm perfectly comfortable with, and in my own skin in general, but fully understand the requisite 'taller than me' requirement stipulated by most women. Which is a terrible shame really because I've come across some truly wonderful profiles where I could see compatibility and great potential but, because I didn't meet their specific height criteria, we passed like ships in the night. So, if you happen to like my profile & photos but measure a man's capacity to love you in feet & inches, then I'd say we have a problem!! Other than that, I hope you don't mind a talker because I really can talk a lot…about anything…even those awkward difficult subjects. Emails & text messages appear to have killed the art of conversation, and many people seem very clearly uncomfortable talking, so if you're talker, I assure you we'll get on. You'll also notice that I'm not shy- I can be a bit of an extrovert, I speak my mind and can be direct. Some of these things have come as a bit of a surprise to one or two recent dates, even though (I hope) I've tried to describe myself here in more detail than most, but it's clear that these traits are a decisive factor for some people, so I guess it's only fair that I put them on the table right from the outset to help you decide whether or not I am what you're looking for.

I have a few genuinely unique but silly quirks which I guarantee you will not find in too many people. Nothing weird, scary or sinister, I promise.....just things that make me a little different from most men! And if we don't get on during our date, well, at least they'd make for an interesting conversation piece. If you'd like to find out, well, you see that "Message" button at the top of the page.....don't be shy!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Why does this question keep popping up as though a woman is somehow going to select me as a suitable potential boyfriend based on whether I prefer comedies or thrillers....sushi or burgers....autobiographies or novels? OK, admittedly, knowing these things about someone could possibly serve some useful purpose so I'm not knocking it but, if it's really that important for you to know who my favourite author is, then let's get together over a dinner somewhere and we can compare our list of likes/dislikes and favourites. It really isn't important to me who your current favourite band is, or how many books you can read in an hour, or how many countries you've been to which, incidentally, seems to have turned into some sort of competition. Is it just me, or is everyone on this site trying to out-do everyone else in the travel stakes? I recently read the profile of a woman in her mid-30s who claimed to have visited more than 100 countries! Really? Really? 100? If she'd started travelling from the age of 20, on average, she would have had to have visited more than SIX countries per year, every year, for the last 15 years!!! If true, then that's great, but she isn't the only one. The question of holding down a job, the time and finances required for such an endeavour notwithstanding, it really makes you wonder what's behind this travel one-upmanship. As long as other cultures are not completely alien to you and you can say that you've been out of your own country at least a few times, then great; you can always see more of the world later. But if your nomadic lifestyle happens to revolve entirely around travelling, or any other single pursuit, interest or hobby, to the exclusion of all else……be it music, dancing, sports, yoga, yoghurt, pilates, paper-clip counting, or whatever….. then I think trying to squeeze a relationship somewhere in there too might prove a little tricky! Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yes, the obligatory lists.... MUSIC: I have about 6000 tracks on my PC which I know is not much by today's ‘whyPod’ standards, but they do cover quite a wide range which caters for whatever mood I may be in, and which is how I choose to listen to music, not to the latest 'in' group. I couldn't name any of the bands that have been "manufactured" in the last 20 years! Not really into punk, heavy (or light) metal, rock, wood or stone music. Or indeed any rave, rap, hip pop or hip hope, house, garage, spare room, loft or bicycle shed music either! Who makes up these daft names and then calls them music? But think more along the lines of mellow jazz, classical, world, soul, disco, and throw in a bit of 60s tunes, and you'll get the idea. FOOD: I will eat anything, the stranger & more exotic-the better....I am not a food snob. Put it in front of me, and I'll eat it, and say thank you! And yes, I do cook, and am pretty good at it, too. FILMS: Again, depending on my mood, I'll watch whatever grabs my fancy at the time, and don't make a distinction between independent cinema and mainstream Hollywood, as seems to be quite fashionable these days, but I can't stand musicals. BOOKS: Yes, I read books but my library wouldn't be to everyone's taste: more science, philosophy and religion than Harry Potter. And just for the record for those who've asked, yes I DO enjoy travelling (been to 20 countries so far if you're counting), and still have plenty of other places I’d like to visit. Have passport, will travel.
Six things I could never do without
SIX ? Are they kidding? Well let's see now, it's big 'ol world, with about a kagillion useful things in it, some more useful than others, so where to start? But as I think about it, I wonder if answering this will bring me any closer to finding that ideal woman. Speaking of which, the love of a good woman is quite invaluable so that’s probably a good place to start. And the internet, of course: the bringer of the said woman…..fingers crossed! I suppose I'd better add fingers to the list too, then! Not forgetting my brand new Canon EOS 7D camera which some people think is surgically attached to my face. With that in the bag, now I can begin work on cultivating the romantic vision of the 'starving artist' in the hope of being discovered one day….so if you are a gallery owner, Hello! I was considering including things like my car, mobile phone, and laptop (if I had one) but somehow I suspect you will have seen those mentioned 1000 times already today, so let's just call them a given.....

This is clearly just an exercise to see if people will answer ANY question that's put in front of them, isn't it? I’d say I failed that test spectacularly…..
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the Universe and Everything. Really, no joke - quite literally Life, the Universe and Everything...all the time! I'm not sure if it's even humanly possible to avoid that really, is it! Plus what I want to do with the remaining 60 years of my life! And when I'm done with that and the old grey matter has warmed up a bit, I remember that I need to add a few more lines to the work in progress that are the book & script....always going on in the background. The subject matter for both is the same, and is a topic that is close to my heart and which I am very passionate about. In fact, you could say that I know sooo much about this subject, I should probably write a book about it!

I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to work out what makes 2 people - two human beings - so different from each other, as in the example of, say, a fundamentalist religious person and an atheist. Or a mass murderer, as opposed to the person who'd "never hurt a fly"! Or what would a world without religion be like?

Not to mention trying to invent something....or puzzling over how so many self-proclaimed intelligent people can believe in so much new age mumbo jumbo. Or why so many women think it is a man’s job to make them laugh!! It’s not, you know! If you have a healthy sense of humour, then you’ll find hilarity in just about everything, even a political speech, or some profiles! But if you’re looking for a clown, then I think you'll have no problems finding a few on these pages!! How is the demand for "...a man who can make me laugh..." any different from the demand for "...a woman who enjoys sitting at home watching sports every night with a six pack..."?? I'd hate to find out what that pressure to always be funny must feel like. I'm lucky though - I don't have a sense of humour, so I'm not worried. But YOU must be able to make me laugh, or else the deal is off!
On a typical Friday night I am
Wow, there's a "TYPICAL" Friday night now??? Why didn't someone tell me? Well, I tend to do different things on different nights so I guess I must be the boring type. But now that I know there's a "typical" Friday night, woooheyy! Generally though, since new films are usually released on Fridays, you'll 'typically' find me at the local cinematorium, clutching a 'typical' giant size salty popcorn and the obligatory packet of peanut M&Ms. And in the absence of good new releases, I have over 900 DVD titles at home that I can choose from. What can I tell you....I enjoy watching films! And failing that, yup, you've guessed it: having dinner with friends at my place...or theirs...or a trying a new restaurant we haven't been to before.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It's clear from their answers that most people are equating 'private' to 'sexual'. So I looked up the word in a dictionary...and would you believe it, it turns out that that's not the case. But I'm splitting hairs here....I perfectly understand why people do that, and I'm not judging. So hey, if there's anything you really want to know, just ask. One of the benefits of being a 'talker' is that you can talk about anything, so fire away.....
You should message me if
….if you've already looked at the photos first to determine whether appearance-wise I am your type, and are still here! You don’t fall into the category of women who are either on the rebound, looking for poly-whatever, or ‘just checking out this site to see who’s out there’! You're single and really ready for a meaningful loving relationship. Your goal here is to find love, not to ask trick questions in order to try and catch people out. YES, that really does happen! And you’re not going to make any assumptions about me, such as....you know... "why are men all the same", based on your experiences of past relationships. You’d be surprised how many women openly insert that comment in their profiles, and yet still say that they’re ready to meet someone new, and have no baggage! You consider yourself very VERY intelligent and are happy to advertise it. Most men like women with big t*ts and are more interested in a woman’s cup size than their IQ. And I'm no different really. Well, maybe a little because I, too, like my lobes big, round and firm, but also very wrinkly!!! The more wrinkled and folded your lobes are, the sexier you are in my book! You get the picture, right? You are more aware of what is going on in the world than on your favourite TV soap. You always opt for substance over looks because you've worked out that when we are old and grey and everything else is either droopy or has gone south, all we'll have left is our minds which, with any luck, will hopefully be the last thing to go. You're fun and emotionally stable, which means you're not a regular guest on Jerry Springer: one minute, all sweet & loving, and the next, you're throwing a nuclear weapon at me!! You're independent and have your own views and opinions and don't follow crowds. You don't wear your religion (if you have one) as your badge of identity. You're solvent, loyal and honest, which means, if your photos are from 15 years ago, that's not a good start (been there, done that..not nice). You have a natural sense of humour, and you're not covered in tattoos or piercings, although one or two very small and very discreet ones might be fine, and you don't smoke or do any drugs. As for the rest…..you know what….if we are lucky and hit it off, then we'll have a lifetime to work out the rest for ourselves.

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The two of us