I wrote this book: http://www.amazon.com/Shelter-Dimitry-Yakoushkin/dp/0692483500/
and this about my experience on tinder: https://medium.com/@yakoushkin/wipe-right-what-i-learned-about-the-tinder-wealth-bump-2073997c30d2
I identify as a sex and relationship therapist, track athlete, and author. I have a kind voice, a gentle presence, am fun, smile often, have a very masculine appearance, (I walk by mirrors and wonder who *that* guy is - from 2 to 20 I didn't identify or look like *that* dude, but here I am.) I'm fairly passionate and a bit dominant in bed, and defer decisions to my partner out of the bedroom. I strongly identify as a feminist and am surrounded by well-educated, powerful women in my circle of family and friends. I wouldn't have it any other way. (There's a few undergrad and masters degrees in women's studies in the fam.)
I continue compete at a fairly high level in an obscure sport, the decathlon - 10 track events spread over 2 days, including the high hurdles and shot put (my best events) and the high jump and pole vault (my worst.) It's my spiritual practice, my source of fitness and therapy in one bundle. It keeps me sane. And it's fun to have a community, as there are 8 of us in my little track club. We work out at Kezar stadium mondays and thursdays at 6.
While I am fairly cisgender in appearance, I'm extraordinarily queer positive/friendly, and have actually had more queer and gay girlfriends/lovers than straight women - probably because I am attracted to overt and transparent displays of choicefulness around sexuality, and gay and queer women have been able to step out of the paradigm and define what it is that they want for themselves - and when that (sometimes) loops back to a cis guy, well, I feel pretty chosen and special. That's not to say straight women are not desirable to me - quite the opposite - it's just I have a more difficult time getting to a great second date there. Plus, I highly value a good sexual connection over anything else (I don't care if we both like Archer or Downton Abbey, I care if you can help coach me in how to help you have a great orgasm. Opps, was that too soon to bring up? Yes, for OKCupid, probably, but now you know (almost) everything about me.
Have fun and be safe out here, and meet in a public place for all first dates!
Hyperbole and a Half *
Life of Pi
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
* two favs
Films: (really difficult to make a short list. But these are probably top-20-ish, not in any order)
The Royal Tenenbaums
Mad Max Fury Road.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (bad casting, greatest screenplay maybe ever.)
The Empire Strikes Back
Once Upon a Time in the West
Raiders of the Lost Ark
North by Northwest
Honorable mention: apocalypse now and blues brothers