5-by-5
38 Minneapolis, United States
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5-by-5
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My self-summary
Educated, intelligent, self employed, smart, sarcastic, cynical, and a closeted optimist. Introverted loner, passionate and loyal to a fault. I might be the most patient impatient person you'll ever know. I have a freakish memory and will remember things you don't even remember telling me. I like: books, the smell of fire, & storms. I don't like: assholes, pretension or cucumbers.
What I’m doing with my life
Making friends with my demons, cobbling together a living doing a job I love.
I’m really good at
Baking, talking, multi-tasking, arguing, listening, selective self discipline, massage.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't know, tattoos, piercings or smile...maybe they simply pick up on my unyielding hatred of this question.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A: Fiction/non-fiction/fantasy/thrillers/sci-fi/mystery - Books are rad.

B: The Big Lebowski, The Princess Bride, Blue Velvet, The Straight Story, Anything by the Coen Brothers and anything with John Goodman in it. Also horror films, especially the super cheesy ones (Thankskilling, Troll 2, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Basket Case).

C: Creedence Clearwater Revival, Pearl Jam, NIN, Jimi Hendrix, Neil Young, Led Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dan Deacon, The Doors, Blues...I was basically born 30 years too late.

I am unashamed by my irrational affinity for banjo music. Deal with it.

D: Jameson, pizza w/ banana peppers and bacon, chocolate, weird cheeses, organic fruit, fresh basil.
The six things I could never do without
kindness, passion, wit, sarcasm, love, & a sense of purpose
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My business, food, what life would be like if I wasn't worried about money, motivations, impermanence, camping, disappearing into the North Shore, the past, the present and the future... in no particular order.
On a typical Friday night I am
Dicking around on the Internet. Out with my awesome friends. Doing laundry. Recovering from working too much.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I sing made up songs to my elderly guinea pigs: Chip, Leonard, Bruce & Otto.
You should message me if
If you're not a textbook, narcissistic sociopath, you have a leg up on the last dude I dated. The bar is not that high at this point, seriously.

Ideally you are: smart, affectionate, sarcastic, irreverent, witty, and kind. Dirty mouths welcome. You treat wait staff with respect. You consider the film 'The Big Lebowski" a modern classic. You do something you love. You'd rather read than watch TV. You aren't intimidated by a woman who can correctly use words like 'sacrosanct' and 'incredulous' in everyday conversation. Bonus points if that actually turns you on.

You like old people. You'll call me on my shit and expect to be called on yours. You aren't glued to your smartphone. You have unrepentant facial hair.

Your words match your deeds. You listen. You actually have time to spend as well as the desire to spend it with me. You're willing to try new things and will tolerate (if not embrace) my strange suggestions. You're up for skydiving and riding the biggest roller coaster over and over again. You love homemade cookies and will help me eat the burned ones. You understand the importance of kindness.

I don't want to have children, but yours are definitely not a deal breaker. I miss my last boyfriend's kids more than I missed him.

You should NOT message me if: You *need* someone to take care of. I'm not a damsel in distress, I make my own money and kill my own bugs.
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