506th
63Clatskanie, United States
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506th
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My self-summary
Rugged, Handsome, Outdoor, Strong, Silent, Christian type who likes to laugh. I got this kinda Grizzly Adams/Dances with Wolves/Jeremiah Johnson/Rocky Mountain High thing goin' on.

I love being outdoors. I love all kinds of animals. I love nature. I am financially secure, although I really don't care about it, other than I know you need it, and you gotta have it.

I gotta tell you the truth, I don't have the sauve, sophisticated, debonair, man about town thing goin'. I have the honest, high moral values, Integrity, honor, and most important, humility thing goin'. How do I know this you ask. Because I answer to a higher authority, and he requires it of me.

I am a stand up guy, meaning...a man who does what he believes in, treats people with respect, and who admits to it and takes steps to correct things when he misses the mark.

I'd like to meet someone who kinda has the same mindset, and wants to hang out with a big, loveable, teddybear for fun, excitement, and adventure.

Remember, Love is not a feeling, Love is an act of your will!

I am Honest, Humble, and Confused!
What I’m doing with my life
I am retired from Freightliner/Western Star/Daimler North American Trucks or whatever they are calling it these days. I am living my dream of living on the land. I own 20 acres of forest and learning to be self-reliant.

Gardening / Homesteading

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

Trying to find my way home.
I’m really good at
Humor,

Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
"The elephants are coming"
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

What do you call a chicken coup with four doors?
A chicken sedan.

What is black and white and red all over?
A penguin with a rash.

How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't, you get down off a duck.

What is the hardest thing about
learning how to rollerskating?
The ground!

What do you call a broken escalator?
Stairs.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal?
Could you give me a hand.

How did the butcher introduce his new girlfriend?
Meet Patti.

Why are there so many Johnson's in the phone book?
They all have telephones.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Cause they taste funny.

Where does Santa stay when he is on vacation?
A Ho Ho Ho-tel.

Why don't ducks fly upside down?
They don't want to quack up.

How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say Cheese.

I don't care who you are, these are funny!!!
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like Santa Claus.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The far Side
Calvin and Hobbes

Bad Santa
Samurai Theater
Band of Brothers
Joe Dirt
Wayne's World
Saving Private Ryan

Corner Gas
Scrubs
Duck Dynasty
Parks and Recreation
Raising Hope

Classical
Dan Fogelberg
The Guess Who
America

Cheeseburgers
Beef
Six things I could never do without
Sunny bright mornings
Moonlit nights
The sound of rain on the roof
The forest
Mental health
A good cheeseburger
Humor, oh, that's seven, nuts!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why there is air.
On a typical Friday night I am
still a guy.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Certified non-compliant by the Federal Board of Compliance,
including the "The Government Is Right About Everything Act"
You should message me if
You know any good (or bad) jokes.
More
The two of us
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Dating
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Lifestyle
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Sex
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Ethics
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Other
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Religion