35Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
I'm level headed, self aware, relaxed, secure, and assertive, but not aggressive. I like to joke around (See below. [I also like parenthetical asides]). You should too and now that you know a ton about me, let me tell you that I'm a magnet for crazy, unstable individuals. Maybe it’s because I've grown weary of being normal, but I have a habit of entering relationships that end in Lifetime-made-for-TV-level drama. You can be as “spontaneous” (although, in girl code, I feel like that’s Step 8 in the 12 step process to achieving “Batshit Crazy” status) as you want, but please be rational. I was a math/physics person in undergrad and grad school and I work in a technical field currently so I’m a little left brain dominant, but I respect a sharp, versatile right brain-er too.

People (best friends, my mom, etc.) often say I look like way too much of a “bro” or a “douche” in my pics. I can see that, but you’d probably look like a douche if frequent rips from loaded beer bongs, countless purchases of bedazzled Ed Hardy t’s, and constant slaying of sorority chics defined your early adulthood too. Ok, ok, little of that is true. Chalk the possible misconception up to poor lighting and bad angles?!? In the world outside of internet dating, I’d like to believe most people enjoy my company. However, an exception to the Law of Relativity douchebaggery is not. So if you’re so concerned with upholding an uber cultured and sophisticated image to the point that taking in an occasional TV show is beneath you, or you're consistently surprised when I can't regurgitate the life's work of the obscure, deceased author or artist you're somehow on first name basis with, or the occasional thought of sports doesn't only disinterest you, but actually irritates you, or if your first instinct is to scorn my feigned ignorance rather than laugh over a light-hearted, judgmental joke, I MIGHT be a dbag in your eyes. I’ll live...unless you’re really hot, in which case, I take it all back. Crap, was that a douche-y thing to say?

Moving on....
What I’m doing with my life
When I was young boy, I dreamt that one day, around the ripe age of 34, I'd join an Internet dating site. I'm now living the dream.
I’m really good at
Making good faith endorsements of people on LinkedIn regarding skills I'm not sure they actually possess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've never worn or possessed one of those black The North Face fleeces. I believe that speaks volumes about my style and originality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV: Breaking Bad. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Game of Thrones, Homeland, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Parks and Rec, Community, Chopped, Bitchin Kitchen, House, House of Lies, Shameless, The Wire, Archer, Eastbound and Down.
**If you list HBO's "Entourage" as one of your favorite shows, please note that you already have one strike against you**

Movies: Anything Nic Cage and if I don't have time for a full movie, I just YouTube: "Nicolas Cage Losing his Shit"

Reading: Math text books, industry whitepapers, self help

Food: Mostly anything

Music: calypso music played in subways
Six things I could never do without
Golf clubs
My Teeter Hang-ups
Strenuous physical activities
Wit - enough of it to allow me to go beyond listing "Friends/Family" here
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Stuff outside the box. How I, being relatively physically fit, can injure myself doing the most straightforward of tasks so often. How many cats does it take for and at what point in the cat procurement process does a normal cat owner turn into a crazy cat lady? Fantasy sports. How creepy those Barefoot shoes with the toes are.
On a typical Friday night I am
In the Command Center
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
A year ago - I was cooking for my 90 year old grandmother when she ripped me for not knowing how to crack an egg with one hand. I executed the recipe and we ate.
Currently - I pick egg shells out from my breakfast each morning trying to learn.
(cue sad trombone)
You should message me if
You checked off at least one of the following:

You made at least one attempt at a joke in your profile.
You managed to effectively sum up your love of travel in something less than 3 paragraphs. I get it....you love to travel....who doesn't?
You like Curbed, Always Sunny, and Archer. I don't know how we COULDN'T be best friends if that were so.
You have at least one pic that isn't so Instagram-ed, I can barely distinguish you from some faded dude in the back of my dad's hippie, college yearbook (nothing against Instagram...I'm just saying there are other places more suitable for saturation effects...).
You're good with knots.
The two of us