AHandshake
31 Phoenix, United States
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AHandshake
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My self-summary
I am married and I am not in an open or polyamorous relationship. I know that a lot of folks on here don't agree with / are vehemently against any member who is here without the intention of dating, and I get that. However, that doesn't change the fact that I am comfortable here ("here" being OkCupid) and don't have any desire to leave. It's important to me that I not mislead anybody, so there it is. I am monogamous and I am uninterested in any sexual (of any variety) or romantic relationship outside of my marriage. Friends, however, are very, very welcome. If you're poly or open or just want someone to talk with, I'm right here.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm getting used to saying that I'm 30. Thirty. No longer in my twenties. Thirty. Thir-tee. Still weird.

Oh, hey. Look at that. I am now 31. Thirty-one is less weird. Thirty-one is parenthood. It's also waiting, and stressing and wanting so much for these to be our babies, but knowing -- knowing -- that they are not, and being prepared to say goodbye the moment we get word that the plan has changed and our days and weeks and months together mean nothing.

Still, I wait.
I’m really good at
Procrastinating.
Writing in IPA.
Grammar.
Turning a pretty phrase.
Turning a grammatically correct pretty phrase.
(And then drawing its tree.)
Making homemade chicken soup.
Making homemade lentil chicken noodle soup.
Accumulating pets.
Customized shoes and boots and frames and other wonderful items.
Writing, so it turns out.
Editing.
I just have nobody to edit.
The first things people usually notice about me
is that I am hardly the person to ask. This field should be one that is open for others to fill. So tell me, dear visitor, what was the first thing you noticed about me? Whether through my writing or my pictures, what struck you first?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A. Favorite Books: I've quite a few favorite books. In fact, it's one of my favorite things to have books. To get books. I have far more books than I have had the opportunity to read, and I like it that way. Instead of appliances like a coffee maker (I don't drink coffee) or a microwave (I don't use them), my kitchen counters used to be lined with books. Books like Jane Austen's works, a bit of the Brontë sisters, Middlesex (an absolute favorite), Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West (another in the top five), Dracula, East of Eden, A Confederacy of Dunces. An anthology of Romantic poetry. A very large Italian / English dictionary. I love flipping through the pages and learning words at random.

Travel Far, Pay No Fare by Anne Lindbergh. This was one of my favorites back in elementary school, but over the years I'd forgotten what it was called. With a little fancy footwork, I was eventually able to get Google to cough up a title based on a really convoluted description of the plot. Amazon.com was then awesome enough to have a few copies available for next-day delivery. And now it's like basking in the warmth of a Vermont summer while taking a stroll down memory lane.

Hm... The Harry Potter series from three different countries. I love the Harry Potter series. His Dark Materials. Insomnia and The Dark Tower Series.

To get back to my original thought, my counters used to be lined with books. Back when I had shorter counters. Now, it doesn't look right, not with the open counters. I love the openness of the kitchen, but I hate that I don't have books in there anymore. Instead, we have tons of shelves. A little less awesome, but still pretty great.

Currently Reading: I didn't meet my 2014 goal, but only by a book or two. Right now, I'm working my way through this year's goal and am in the middle of several books. I'm rereading Half-Blood Prince on my own, and Chamber of Secrets with my stepson. I am not entirely sure whether I'll count those toward my goal. I suppose it depends how desperate I get toward the end of the year. Then there's The Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb, The Princess Bride by William Goldman, Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes by Jonathan Auxier, The Hangman's Daughter by Oliver Pötzsch, and a handful of others.

B. Favorite Movies: To be totally honest, I'm not much of a movie person. Sure, I'll watch one on occasion, either out of curiosity or a feeling of obligation, but I rarely seek them out or end up captured by them enough to give them my full attention. On the list of go-to hobbies in my life, movies are way, way down there.

C. Favorite Shows: Misfits. To an extent. Up through season three. I like to pretend that seasons four and five never happened. In fact, I just finished the series, then went back and rewatched one through three and stopped there to keep the sour taste of the new group out of my mouth. Doctor Who. NuWho, though. I can't seem to get into Classic Who. I know, I know. Blasphemy. Firefly. I'm current on a lot of shows (far more than I'd care to admit, actually), but none of them really qualify as favorites, no matter how much I keep tuning back in. More...time-wasters. Castle is one I must watch, if only for Nathan Fillion, though I do enjoy it 97% of the time. But I don't know that it qualifies as a favorite. It may have, a few years ago, but at this point… The same is true of shows like How I Met Your Mother and Bones and Criminal Minds. More obligation than genuine excitement.

D. Favorite Music: I don't know. I'm open to quite a bit in the world of music. Of Montreal. I'd say that Of Montreal would hold the place of "favorite" at the moment. Right now Death Cab for Cutie is playing. Followed, perhaps, by some "ol' school" Backstreet Boys, the stylings of Elton John and / or Billy Joel, Nine Inch Nails, a wee bit o' The Format (and anything else Nate Ruess), Damien Rice, The Cranberries. Modest Mouse, Franz Ferdinand, Frou Frou, Aerosmith, Journey, Tori Amos. I'm a fan of Ani DiFranco, though I don't know very many of her songs. The Smashing Pumpkins, Frank Sinatra, Queen, Elvis. Simon and Garfunkel (I find it interesting that "Garfunkel" does not trigger the Safari spellchecker). Bright Eyes (though just saying, typing or even thinking "bright eyes" makes me sing, in my head, "Turn arouuuund..."). ...I'm stopping now.

E. Favorite Food: Ethiopian. They closed my Ethiopian place, and I am not kidding when I say I cried a bit. Indian. Good Chinese where I can get it. Apple pie-lettes. Or just apple pie. Thai. Soup -- I'm so glad that soup season is here again! Pomegranates. I'm also rather fond of pears. And Pink Lady and Honeycrisp apples. Opal apples, definitely. Berries. Raspberries are my absolute favorite, but they're rather cost prohibitive. I'm not a big fan of celery, except for the inner sticks. Or with the ranch dressing that every buffalo wing-serving joint seems to have but that I can't seem to find in the grocery store. Cheesecake. Chicken croquettes. Great steak.
The six things I could never do without
My dogs
Background noise

(Yes, that makes six.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whether tomorrow will be the day to break my world to pieces. Or is it the next day?
On a typical Friday night I am
at home. Almost always.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The best times in my life -- those most memorable and gut-wrenching and indelible -- began with an electrifying, lingering handshake.
You should message me if
You want to tell me what song is running through your head right now.

You have a book recommendation for me. Books! Give me books!

Seriously, books. Please?

You have questions about anything mentioned above.

You understand and are on board with the fact that I am married and interested only in friendship and long-distance penpalmanship. I absolutely support polyamory and open relationships, but ours is not a marriage of those particular styles.

Just reach out.
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