31Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
Sorry I took a bunch of selfies. None of my friends take pictures.

I am an enigma to everyone including myself. I am the life of the party and the voice of reason. I am a danger to my own bank account. I am a lush with a knack for staying in shape. I have tattoos and need more. I am excellent at finding gems in this city while on afternoon bike rides. I have a severe meme addiction. I live in a giant loft. I like bacon and can chop wood and you can bring me home to your parents. I also love big fluffy dogs. I never try to impress anyone more than I try to impress myself.

I'm looking for my partner in crime. Like, real crime. Robbery and grand theft auto and shit. Lock picking is a plus but not required.

But really...

I want a girl that can make me nervous. Beyond that I'm not sure what I'm looking for.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying real hard at times to be taken seriously and respected and at other times trying to do the complete opposite.

I'm a boat captain. Really. It's not a joke.

I became an uncle recently. So that's a whole new thing for me.

Looking for reasons not to move back to Boston.
I’m really good at
I'm real fucking considerate.
Day drinking.
I'm also far wittier in real life than I am on dating sites.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm told my self deprecating nature, my sarcasm and my eyes. I was once told I have piercing eyes. And also that I have kind eyes. I don't know what to believe.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Please excuse my terrible taste in everything. I was not fortunate enough to immerse myself into obscure literature, film or music as a young adult and find no reason to start catching up now. I don't give a shit how many synth/noise records you own or how many bad french films you've watched in the past year. I'd rather waste my time sipping whiskey and it gets hard to read subtitles when you're drunk.

Books- Bukowski, The Fountainhead, A Farewell to Arms, Catch 22, All Quiet On the Western Front, Pillars of the Earth, I Hope
They Serve Beer In Hell
, A Heartbreaking
Work of Staggering Genius.

Movies- Almost Famous, Anchorman, The Big Lebowski, Fight Club, Life Aquatic, Lords of Dogtown, Master and Commander, Platoon, The Royal Tenenbaums, Semi-Pro, Snatch, V for Vendetta.

T.V. - Its Always Sunny, Arrested Development, Game of Thrones, and I own a Planet Earth/Life box set. I also like hockey and football way too much.

Music- Daft Punk, MGMT, Queen, The Beatles, CCR, Brand New, Say Anything, The 1975, ke$ha (go ahead and make fun of me), Saves The Day, Thursday, fun., The Kinks, Sleigh Bells, Robert Plant, The Beach Boys...and all the same hipster shit everyone else is into.

Food - Mexican food, BBQ, mashed potatoes, falaffle and sushi...and pretty much anything with sriracha. I cook a lot.
Six things I could never do without
I'll live. I believe there is always something i could live without. But i'll tell you what i would be most upset to lose.

Friends and family
IPhone (really?! Yeah really.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Who will show up at my funeral if i die tomorrow.


I look up strange things on Wikipedia constantly. Some recent ones have been sports rivalries, string theory and traditional Incan cuisine.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking something I shouldn't be drinking in a place I shouldn't be drinking it in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm very insecure about never graduating college but I don't plan on going back.

Also, I don't like using punctuation correctly. Sorry English majors.

Musicals make me uncomfortable.
You should message me if
Basically I like to do things that people do and would like some decent conversation and a pretty face to accompany me and for me to accompany to those things that people do from time to time.

You have a dog I can play with.

You think you can make me nervous.

You enjoy beards.

You want to go ice skating in Millennium Park this winter.

You find yourself in need of a day drinking partner.
The two of us